Thursday, June 11, 2009

Why ask why?

Downtown St. Louis Business: Arch Rivalry Series Cancelled
Said Illinois Athletic Director Ron Guenther:

The Illini are basically a bunch of scared weenies.  We're tired of M-I-Z-Z-O-U beating the crap out of us over and over again. We're like weak defenseless little girls, babies even. You measure our manliness in inches, where as M-I-Z-Z-O-U is teeming with so much testosterone that our side is petrified, unable to function.  What we make in TV rights doesn't come close to paying for the psychiatric treatment we need to recover from the PTSD after getting it handed to us by M-I-Z-Z-O-U. We should drop the Illini moniker and call ourselves the Nancy-boys.

A source from M-I-Z-Z-O-U was quoted as saying "FUUUUUUCKKKK, now we have to find some no name 1-AA school championship division team to pound on early in the season. Someone call Northern Illinois and see if they'll man up!"

Why ask why? Fuck the Illini.

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