Thursday, November 30, 2006

Email I just received at work

Pakage of Mainland Asian Elephant brace rubberbands found - - please contact x-4228


So I played the mookie last night. I played rather okay. I busted a lot of people and was in the top 3 or 4 most of the way. I had good cards at the right time. I busted Falstaff when he underbet with a flopped TP, turned

Then I stacked of with 77 by calling an all-in re-raise of my open. On the bubble. I was second or third in chips at the time.

I have a a lot of excuses:
1.) I was tired
2.) The re-raise smelled like a steal
3.) I suck at poker

But ultimately I should have folded. I was telling myself to fold as I was calling. I was hoping that I was making a spectacular call rather than a donkey play. My read was bad. The all in was designed to look weak to get me to make the call. I case you were wondering KK isn't a weak hand.

In other news, I won a HORSE SNG last night. I played okay in H, played well above myself in O, was the only person at the table that new a thing about R (other than Drizz), I don't know squat about S or E. If I'm not rolled up in S or have 3 to wheel in E then I have little idea what to do. So in a 5 game mixed format, I only have a respectable knowledge of 2 games, a "can barely find his ass with both hands knowledge of 1 and no idea whatsoever about 2 and I still won.

My strategy is quite simple. Play premium starters for H and O8. Pummel them in Razz because none of these guys know a thing about Razz ( I have an extensive 2 week history crushing the Razz ring games). Play tight as a bugs ass in S and E. Just don't stack off with 77.

Over the last two nights I watched Revenge of the Sith. This is only the second time, the first being in the theater. It is by far the best of the 2nd three. In fact I think its #3 out of the 6. Parts I didn't like:

When Mace goes to arrest Palpatine with 3 other Jedi masters and Palpy dispatches the red shirts like they are practice dummies. That was the worst 4 on 1 strategy I have ever seen.

The "high ground" climax. Thats just lame. I mean I get it. Anakin's hubris gets his arm and legs cut off, but could he just have jumped another 5 feet and had the high ground?

The instant transition from "you have to arrest him" to "I will do all your evil bidding". Why is it that only Palpy has force lightning anyway? Why doesn't Vader ever get it?

If Qui Gon can commune with Yoda and Obi Won, why don't we see him at the end of ROTJ?

The entire series was supposed to be about the redemption of Anakin. Why can't Lucas make him a more sympathetic character? I mean I am sitting there rooting for him to burn to a crisp. He was prick when he was good.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Who is Party's Bitch?

I was cruising the "tubes" and noticed this Google Ad on Rini's blog. The highlighting is my text select.

All I can say is ROTFLMAO!

Update, here is another.

Another edit. I should have linked up this site:
as an explanation of the title.

Midday Update: Review THIS!

BG has a great little piece on blogvertisments. I mad a comment and you can too. I have it on good knowledge that a dwarf thinks I'm an idiot.

Rumor has it that the Cardinals made 4 free agent moves that will be announced later today. 3 additions and one retained. I think were talking pitcher, 2nd base and two others.

I have a great new idea for a blog, all the idiots that have opinions that differ from mine can post there. Its called

Falstaff suggested collective bargaining for bloggers in BG's comments. I think his kilt is too tight. I think this is funny as he somewhat bitched about unions in his last post.

Hoy needs to chill. You mean you don't want me making those donkey calls against you? Quit getting yourself shortstacked. You can obviously outplay most of us after the flop. I take a 25% chance at a coinflip with you, its my best shot.

STB is my favorite blogger. Sorry, but he bought me buffet breakfast at the ended of one of my top ten epic benders. Also, I figure if I stroke his ego he might give me some stock tips.

I refuse to link to the dog jerk piece. Find it on your own.

Blast from the past: I immediately knew that Daddy was PokerChamp.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Lunch and Learn: Fat and Stripey

I am standing in line at a local eatery for lunch. I am about 4th or 5th in line. A group has walked in just behind me and my friend. Our third friend is stuck behind this group because he was nice enough to hold the door open for them, but they didn't let him scoot by to catch up with us. The layout: there are 2 cashiers for lunch items and one for pastry items. During the lunch rush the pastry cashier also takes lunch orders.

On of the "ladies" from the group behind me tells her friends that she is "getting in that line" motioning to the pastry line. As she moves and stands behind that person I tell her that "usually they take the next person from the front of the line"

Apparently I uttered the secrete phrase that sets off her Tourette's. I am called dick and champ in the same sentence. That is after she asks me to repeat myself. I never told her to get back in line and I never called her a name, I simply informed her of the usual procedure. She told me how it was a separate line all the while calling me dick and asshole and while walking her fat stripy ass back to her spot in line. My buddy can hardly contain himself and our third friend is still stuck behind this cow cum zebra and only hears her call me a dick. I remained quiet. My point had been made and she was obviously aware of she was in the wrong. Later one of my friends would hypothesize that she was spewing venom at me as a means to let go of the self hate from an awful series of one nighters she had over the long weekend.

If she was just getting pastry (in retrospect likely, based on her bovine looks and bitter mouth), she might have had an argument. But she would have just stated, "I'm just getting pastry". But mere minutes later I witnessed her with soup and sandwich and no pastry to be found.

Right before she said "goodbye asshole".

I laughed really hard. My lunch companions were in stitches. Had it been a matter of consequence and her lunch companions not included a 6'8" 450 lbs Samoan dude I may have retorted with a line about her dirty mouth and her brother's penis, but I took the high ground and simply chose to laugh at the adjective challenged. I chalked her 'tude up to doughnut fueled hypoglycemia.

Keys to Going Deep in WPBT Events

The key to going deep in a WPBT event is quite simple. Just ask Troublecat and Dr. Pauly. Get into a hand with me, lose 80% of your stack and then drive to the final table. In the last two events I have played, lasts nights HORSE and I think it was the HOY or the Mookie (yeah, mookie) last week that has been the key for a final tabler.

I take down a huge pot early against Absinthe it was my JJ to his TT or my QQ to his JJ, I don't remember and to the good doctor it was my turned set of JJJ versus his flopped TPTK. I guess I need to figure out how to stack these guys.

In the hand against Pauly I should have check called the turn and check-raised the river. In the hand with Absinthe he had me covered and we got it in pre-flop.

Playing HORSE last night I won a large pot in Holdem vs. the Doctor as described above. The majority of my large pots both won and lost were in Razz. I have played about 2500 hands of Razz over the last week. I think I am getting a handle on it. Most importantly I am starting to be able to tell when I am ahead/behind. Unfortunately I see a bit of FPS creeping in as I think I should be able to move people off hands. In the low limit Razz game they don't let lose of a rough 7 no matter what you are showing.

I don't have enough knowledge of O8 to know when to play preflop. I don't know when to call a preflop raise and when to muck top set. I do know that having the tourney host river a wheel against you is bad for your stack.

Stud8 I tried to play very straight forward, but still lost chips. My inability to scoop was the problem. 3 big or three small, but not three in the middle was how I played.

Stud, bah. Stud is stupid.

I took my boy on an airplane to see his grandparents for Thanksgiving. Notice I didn't say we. The wife had to stay home for work. He was a trooper. The flight was a mere 41 minutes but exponentially better than a 6-7 hour car ride. I can make it in 5.5 hours, but I don't stop to pee or cry because I am hungry. I felt a little sorry for the guy in the seat in front of me on the way there. He got his seat kicked constantly. I say a little sorry because:
1. every time his seat was touched he snapped his head around and gave me a look.
2. the plane was half full and he could have moved.
3. that dirty look thing again. I am a pretty big dude, don't give me dirty looks you metro sexual laptop on thanksgiving day douchebag. Say something to me, ask for a new seat or suck it up Nancy. Yes I know having a 23 month old kid kick your seat for 41 minutes sucks. I used to travel every week, believe me I know the horrors of other peoples kids while flying. Find a better solution than looking crossly over your Rivers Cuomo glasses. Seriously, has anyone ever been able to exude anger dressed like a yuppie Weezer fan? Are your cuffed jeans or your Steve Maddens supposed to strike fear into my heart? Besides that be nice or I'll have my kid puke on you.

Grandma and Grandpa have a big garden that had already been plowed under for the winter. The boy had access to my 30 year old Tonka trucks and 1000 sq.ft. of freshly plowed dirt. That is more than heaven for a two year old boy. We spent the weekend "owside" digging in the dirt. We also went to the mall to see Santa and a different mall to ride the carousel.

Other notes from the trip home. My cousin is a freshman in highschool. He is 6'1" and 265 lbs. He is a big boy, but I can still whip his ass. Freshmen are weak. I need to talk to his football coaches. Some of them were my coaches and some of them I played with in both high school and college. They had almost 50 guys out for freshman football but were playing guys both ways and leaving others to rot on the bench. Freshman football is about getting guys into the game and instilling a love for the sport into the players. Its about getting experience so that you can see what positions the kids are best at playing. It is not about win/loss. Freshman football is a farm team for the varsity. Also I need to make sure he goes out for track. I see shot put and discus in his future.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Missouri has this problem. Its called antiquated computer systems. Basically the surplus ENIAC computers in use in one department cannot communicate with the ultra-nuevo BINAC computers in the other departments. Lets put this another way. I have lived in Iowa, Illinois and Missouri. The government in the state of Missouri is behind the other states with respect to its communications and Information Technology capabilities.

This communications shortcoming rears its head in various ways. I want to discuss this problem with respect to license plates. First when applying for or renewing your license plates you need to provide proof that you have paid your personal property tax (an annual tax on cars, motorhomes, RVs, boats, etc). If you have misplaced your receipt (or your receipt was never mailed) you have to go to your county's seat of government and get a copy. You walk in, give them your SSN and they print out a receipt, you then walk over to one of the three cashiers sitting behind teller window glass and pay your $1.50 or $3 for the copy (that's the process in the city).

I am not a math genius, but they could make these copies free for everyone by simply getting rid of the three cashiers. Or alternatively they should raise the price to pay for the cashiers' salaries OR they could cross train the office worker that printed the copy out to be able to make change for a $20. The best solution? If the government computer systems could talk to each other they could look up your property taxes online and not make you have the easily forged piece of paper.

Once you have your personal property tax receipt, proof of vehicle inspection, proof of emissions inspection, proof of insurance, drivers license and renewal notice all together you are ready to go to the DMV. Actually in Missouri its the Department of Revenue, whatever.

Then you stand in line, tell them if you want a one year or a two year registration and write a check. Who are the people that get a one year? Masochists I guess. They hand you two little stickers with "07" or "08" on them and you march out and put them on your license plates. There are specific instructions on the DOR website for affixing said stickers to your license plate, this is due to the problem of license tab theft. The helpful tips about putting your tabs in the middle of the plate (mine were) to avoid theft didn't help.

You see, the local police computers cannot communicate with the Department of Revenue computers to determine if you have or have not actually paid your renewal fees. The police can only go by the sticker that is displayed on your license plate. If you have a sticker you are free and clear, if you don't you will be pulled over and given the once over. So there is a burgeoning black market for license plate stickers, know as Tabs, in Missouri. The neighborhood kids or worthless adults steal them and then sell them or use them on their own cars. I currently own three cars and all three have had the tabs stolen.

According to the Maryland Heights police officer that pulled me over today, I have 5 days after the theft to report the tabs stolen by filing an affidavit with the Department of Revenue. I have to have a copy of a police report to file the affidavit. So today I looked up the process for getting a copy of the police report.

Copies of police reports are available to interested parties five (5) business days after the date of the incident. Requests may be made in person at the Police Service Counter, Room 114, Police Headquarters, 1200 Clark Avenue, between 8:00am - 4:00 pm, Monday through Friday.
The cost is $5.00 per copy.
So the absurdity continues, I need to file an affidavit with the DOR within 5 days and I need a police report to file the affidavit, but it takes five days to get a copy of the police report. According to the DOR website I can get 2 "free" sets of stickers per year.

Now lets talk about the real costs of time and money involved in getting your tabs replaced. $3.50 for processing and $5 for the police report. 20 minutes to make a police report, 1 hour to go to police HQ and get a copy of the report, 1-2 hours to go to DOR to get tabs. So lets say you have to take time off work to do this. The average American makes in the ball park of $35K/year. Lets call that $17/hour.

$3.50 processing fee
$5.00 report fee
$17.00 lost vacation to get report
$26.50 lost vacation to get tabs
$52.50 average economic cost to tab theft victim.

The DOR website states that:

Some of them, including window stickers and a reissuance of license plates, may require a change in the law and carry a hefty price tag, from about $2 million for window stickers to $16 million for a total license plate reissuance.
Cost to actually change the law? $0. But our representatives in Jefferson City are too busy debating the finer points of linking immigration woes to legal abortion. They couldn't be bothered to take care a real problem that impacts all of Missouri. Put an end to an annoying crime? NO WAY! We have to blame immigration problems on women who have abortions!!! Sorry for the digression. (Thanks to Alan for the link to that story)

2 million / $52.50 = 38,462. Thats how many tab thefts it take to make window stickers an economically attractive option. Yes this is fuzzy math, but it shows that this problem is not an $8.50 per occurrence problem. The $2 million is a one time cost, so you could collect the 39K thefts over 3-5 years and still break even. Or you could just charge people wanting window stickers and extra $5 and pay for it that way. Or, you could bite the bullet and upgrade the computer systems. Who knows, that project might actually make sense too!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


The Aladdin has a 2am tourney that is a $60 buy in. They call it the Graveyard Tourney. The website says it goes off everyday. Anyone want to do a drunk and disorderly and storm this thing Thursday night, Friday morning? The Aladdin also lists the following cash games:

High Hand Jackpots - Guarantee $250
Hold ‘em - No Limit - 1-2 Blind / 2-5 Blind / 5-10 Blind
Hold ’em - Limit - 2-4 / 3-6 / 4-8
Omaha 8 or Better - 2-4 Limit / 4-8 Limit
Mixed Games - 3-6 Limit / 5-10 Limit

Did you see that Drizz? LO8!! I know, its not PLO8, but you can adjust. Mixed games? How do those work?

Why am I interested in the Aladdin? Cause thats where I'm staying. So I will be playing there at least a little bit. There and the MGM, and the IP, maybe Caesars. Not the Excal if I can help it. Wheel spins or not I now hate that place.


I have been playing Razz for maybe a bit over a week now. I blame Easycure and Zeem for getting me there. I was minding my own business when they goaded me into playing 1/2 Razz. Since then I have dropped back to .50/1 because I think its a bit more in line with where I should be. I play like a rock. I seldom bluff and I am marginally profitable. By marginally I mean 4-5 BB's per session so far. Or around 4 BB's/100 hands. I don't know what Razz stats should look like, but this is better than being down.

I find that Razz is easier to read than Stud. The boards register more quickly in my mind. "He has a pair and a card higher than me on 5th, I am waaaaay ahead." I haven't yet started looking to see what my opponent is drawing to, basically I have just been comparing our current boards to determine if I am ahead or not. If I think I am ahead, I bet, if not I check. If I don't know I might check, call. I have made a few moves with 4 to a wheel or a smooth 7 when I show a brick I have check raised. I think my savior to this point has been that most of the competition is bluffing with an A or 2 as a door card, they complete and I come along for the ride. They end up showing KQJ in the hole and I take another pot.

Razz is a drawing game, but you really need to start with 3 to a wheel. You are not going to catch 4 perfect to go along with your (JT)A. You need to be able to have a hand that can brick horribly on 5th and give yourself the opprotunity to peel one more off. This is somewhat like floating in holdem. Yes I would describe my Razz play as ABC. However, much like LHE, I think this is the best way to start. Why bluff? There is no need. Besides, your opponents aren't smart enough to see what you're representing and fold.

It should be noted that all of the above is base purely on my experience playing .50/1 Razz. I have yet to read an article or take a huge beating. Please, F-Train, Zeem, Easy, all of you real Razz players, don't come looking for me. I know I am a donor to you.

Razz can be frustrating. You start off A2(3) and fourth street brings you a 4. Then you brick, brick, brick. You can pull it out if the bricks are and A and a 2. Coming KKK really sucks. I feel like that this morning. It just seems like everything is lined up and going great and then I keep hitting walls. On the up side, last night Drizz told me he thought I weighed 235#. Not since 1996 Drizz. The feeling of bricking is all an illusion. In reality everything is great, its just that great things are never easy.

I am reading a book that had an analogy that made a lot of sense. It basically says that you always see people jogging that don't look like they need to jog. Thats the point, they keep at it so it comes easy for them.

Do you ever feel like you do too much introspection and not enough acting? Do you spend too much time thinking about how things could be different and making plans for change instead of getting up and just doing something, anything?

A weird thing about myself. I have a great ability at recalling written words and faces. But I forget names if they are not re-enforced. I am one of those people that has to repeat your name back to you or I will forget it. Also I can't tell you the name of the actor on that show, but I can tell you what other shows I have seen them in. If that other show was on the air between 1980 and 1988 I can tell you the day, time slot and network too. I tried to turn this into a drinking game a few years ago, but nobody wanted to play with me.

My recall allowed me to skate by in high school. I seldom did more than skim assignments and take tests. I could wing it and make out alright. I was about 90 minutes/week away from being at the top of my class, but 90 minutes is a lot. For instance, I don't recall ever once doing homework for my Calculus class senior year. I skated by and received B's. The hyperactive super achievers did their homework, put problems on the board and earned the extra points for an A or to cushion poor test results. I always just made it a point to paint myself into a corner where I had to perform well on the test. Random trivia, my high school calc teacher drove a 1978 Corvette Pace Car and carried a .44. There is a photo in my Senior yearbook of the calc class in front of the Corvette, no gun is visible.

So why do I play poker? It keeps me sane. I love competition and I love o win. I guess I don't really enjoy gambling because I have never been much into blackjack.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Weekend Wrap-Up

First, much like the Good Doctor, I was clawing the walls waiting for the final announcement. Iggy is a bastard. He let me in on his little secret, thereby swearing me to secrecy and eliminating my super sleuthing abilities to out him. Damn smart dwarf if you ask me. Although all that pre-op stuff is true and Iggy will be updating this site from Sweden.

Oh yeah and for all you Iggy lovers and haters all I have to say is, brace yourself:

Comments ON Bitch.
I joined my friends at the boat on Friday night. The poker room at Harrahs here in the greater St. Louis area is quite nice. They had 3/6, 5/10 and I think 30/60 (20/40?) LHE running and well as 1/2, 2/5 and I think one larger NLHE games.

In attendance were ToolMan, TSOTWB, BMac and Dimebag. The occasion? Of of these guys was a bachelor for the weekend.

The hostess screwed my list request, I asked for a 3/6 LHE (short list) and 1/2 NL(long list). She got the 3/6 right but put me on the 2/5. Luckily a new table opened at the conclusion of a tournament and I was seated after only 2 orbits of 3/6.

Table was full of drunks and 22 year old WPT's with ball caps and sunglasses. One guy at my end of the table was a pending divorcee from New Jersey. He was drunk, spent around $100 getting a massage and dropped about 2 buyins. He also said that he had been kicked off a plane that day for calling the "stewardess" an asshole. I don't know if it was stewardess or asshole that got him. Maybe it was that the flight attendant was male and he described him as stewardess? I dunno. I would have clocked the guy for some of his comments, but he was a donater so he lives another day.

I played a bit too tight. I should have gambled a bit more, but this marked my return to live NL action. I only played one hand poorly post flop. I called Jersey boy down with my pocket 88 that were overpair to the board. He had QQ. Bastage.

Typical position play. I limp from the button with 4 others only to have the big blind make it 10 to go. Thats an $8 raise into a $8 pot preflop. There are 2 callers, me and a guy in MP. Flop comes out T42. BB bets out $25 into a $38 pot. MP calls quickly. Here is my read, BB has overpair to the board, MP is on a draw. And me? I am sitting on 222. I make it $75 to go. BB insta-mucks and MP thinks long and hard. Finally tells me he is laying down a flush draw, which I believe. This was my biggest pot of the night.

I watched next to no football this weekend. I caught the first 25 game minutes of the OSU/Michigan game, but as I write this I am forced to go look up the final score. Huh, 42-39 guess I shoulda watched the whole thing. Don't tell me about the Big 12, the Pac 10 or especially the SEC. If you want to see football, watch the Big 10(1).

I am flying home this week with the boy. The wife has to stay behind for work related reasons. Thats right me and my boy together on a plane. Should be good times. Since he doesn't turn two until next month I get to skate under and not buy him a seat. So I will have a 23 month old on my lap the entire way. Hopefully my Turkey Holiday plane won't be full and I can snag a seat for him.

Took a break from writing this to go eat at the Indian Buffet with my Indian co-worker. Kheer is a gift, don't take it lightly. Of course, seeing as I am back on my diet and that small portion of Kheer makes up 1/2 of my carb consumption for the last week, I might be delusional. BTW I am "back on the wagon". So keep your cheesecake to yourself.

Broke down and bought Super System II. Now if I can get some time to play Triple Draw on stars I will be set. Oh and the .50/1 and 1/2 Razz tables are home to some of the worst players I have ever seen. I played for about an hour last night and I don't think I showed down a loser. There were at least 2 hands that I made crying check calls after bricking 7th only to find out my genius opponent had started with KJ(3) or QT(2). I had one guy call me down with a pair plus he could beat my board. I am far, far from a Razz expert, but if I can't beat your board, I am unlikely to continue betting.

On a separate Razz note, when I first sat down none other than SirFWaffleStuffer himself was at my table. I watch sadly as he went busto, without even as much as an exclamation point in the chat box. I think the waffles is going soft. Also, Waffles, if you are going to continue with the waffles vision please either start smoking, smoke more or get GarageBand so you can add some bass to your voice. Unless of course your pitching it up to keep you voice a secret. Then just stop doing that.

Over the weekend I read about all the DADI switch-a-roo non-sense . Not that my opinion matters, especially cause I didn't play. But to all of you out there, the DADI switchers, and all of you that play and complete tournies for your friends: Please stop. It is things like this that seem harmless that give online poker a black eye. You are going to force the online poker companies to increase authentication and policing. Do you think that they don't know when your IP address switches in the middle of a tournament? You are running a risk that someone will figure it out and complain. They will close you down/forfeit your winnings.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Ode to a Complex Man

In talking with my friend Iggy over the past few weeks I have come to realize that the true reason that so few of you know the real, true Iggy is that he is simply shy. Many of you don't know this but I have known Iggy for quite a few years. We actually knew each other before poker, before blogs and had just lost touch. The distance had become to great, both physical and emotional. But through the magic of the internet and by random chance we were reunited from locations one quarter of the way across the country. Our friendship was renewed and we carried on just as if those 3 months didn't exist.

With that background in mind I feel it is my duty to bring to you a photo essay that details the life and times of one with the nom de plume of Ignatius J. Reilly aka Iggy. It has been my pleasure over the years to share in and document the life of Iggy. So now I offer to you my personal photos and recollections of my friend. I am afraid that the myths of Iggy being a dwarf or a agoraphobic house Frau have been greatly exaggerated. Iggy is a we short, standing 5'8" tall as for the house Frau, well, you'll see in a bit.

Iggy grew up in a rural portion of the middlewest. He was a wrestler in high school and carried on with that sport into college. But a groinal injury cut his college career short. He ended up dropping out of college after junior year. Below is a pic of Iggy before wrestling practice as a freshman.

His family ran a ranch that catered to yokels looking for a weekend of cowboys and indians. Think of it as a real life City Slickers. This upbringing often shows through in his constant love of all things equine. Iggy is known throughout the poker world as one who has no trouble relieving a donkey of his money. Iggy also enjoys relaxing while riding his horse early in the morning.

Many of you know that Iggy has a frisbee catching dog. Few of you know that his true canine love is poodles. After many jokes calling his manhood into question he was shamed into training an frisbee acrobat.

Not so many years ago, Iggy checked out of the real world and moved to Vegas. While there he really let himself go. A mixture of Razz and Guinness is to blame. Personal hygiene was not easy to maintain. While in Vegas he met fellow vagabond Mr. Subliminal at the Salvation Army Shelter. Not having frequent access to showers or razors, Iggy often smelled. It was at that point in his life that a strange transformation began. It was subtle and slow at first. Iggy scrapped and begged and saved money for "Highlights" Thats right, he was unable to bathe, but he found the wherewithal to add "honey spice" to his mullet.

Soon after the highlights were installed, Iggy was discovered. A talent agent "bumped into" Iggy in the mens room of a Texaco in North Vegas. With his lithe build and wonderful highlights Iggy was a mere shower and shave from starring is several popular Vegas shows.

It started with downtown shows at the Four Queens Hotel and Casino. Iggy first starred in a remake, brought to stage version, of Enter the Dragon. The reviews for a white kid from the midwest taking on the the Bruce Lee role were less than complimentary. But Iggy persevered.

He ended up landing a role on the strip as the non puppet lead in Avenue Q.

Working with inanimate objects was a drag. The puppets pulled all the ladies leading Iggy into a shame spiral that culminated in him leaving Avenue Q's Las Vegas run for the Chippendales
rip off act, The Broyhill Dancers. Iggy debased himself nightly for oft too small tips placed into his oversized g-string.

The engagement with the Broyhill Dancers was a low point in Iggys life. It caused him to finally give up his Vegas dreams and to return to the heartland. While driving cross country he was pulled over for expired plates and the trooper discovered a stash of drugs.

Iggy spent the next 90 days in county jail in Colorado awaiting trial. The case was dismissed as the arresting office was convicted of solicitation and was unavailable for trial. Unfourtunatly the stint on the inside had only served to exacerbate his tendencies that first surfaced with the highlights. Iggy felt an urge to become a kinder gentler soul. He soon joined an artist commune and started living with two women. This was all an effort get in touch with his feminine side. Without giving it a thought, Iggy remained celibate for 6 years. Next are pics of Iggy with his roommates and practicing his art.

In 2002 Iggy left the commune a changed man. He had returned to his roots and once again let his hair grow long. The highlights were making a comeback, but they were more understated this time. But Iggy's true friends noticed a distinct change. His mannerism had started to change. He had gotten in touch with his feminine side, but forgot the keep track of the masculine. Over the next four years Iggy slide further and further into an alternative lifestyle. Next is a pick of Iggy right after leaving the commune.

The next noticeable change happened after Iggy took a month and went to Mexico. Upon his return it was obvious that he had surgery. Plastic surgery. Iggys features were more lady like. The rough edges were smoother. We held out hope that the tide was turning when he cut his hair again.

Upon seeing Iggy last month I was shocked to learn that the cutting of the hair was so that his wigs would fit better. It is then I learned that Iggy is a full fledged pre-op transsexual.

He wishes to return to Vegas to land a part in an all Vegas review. Below is a pic of him and his pre-op friends doing their local dinner theater show.

There you have it folks. In the next couple of weeks Iggy is moving to Sweden to undergo his change. Guinness and Poker will be on hiatus, but Iggy will be keeping us all abreast of the happenings on his new blog. Guinness and No Poker.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Product Review: ReviewMe

The following is a paid advertisement.

When I started this screed oh some many hours ago I thought that it would be a simple place to write and learn about being a dad and playing poker. Since that time I have welcomed advertisers into my universe and gained a sense of purpose with a few of my postings.

This is such as post. Apparently I am getting paid to write a review about a service for which I just signed up. I say apparently because, you know, I haven't actually seen any payola. That said, writing this review is somewhat like writing a review of a new eatery based on calling and making reservations, or on your time in the lounge waiting for a table. There is little information to go on. But I give you my initial impression of ReviewMe.

Basically the service tries to match advertisers with bloggers. I don't have much to say on this as this aspect of the product has not been in action on my site. If you are like most people you ignore adsense, pop-ups and banners. Interstitials make you angry and flash based sites drive you up the wall. As someone told me during a product release demo today: customers rarely complain about simple. You don't hear requests to make processes more complicated.

The way the service works is advertisers sign up, choose locations and pay a fee. If you are chosen to write a review you can accept or decline the work. If you accept you write a review of the product and post it to your blog. No banners or pop-ups, just your words on a page. I will say that the idea seems novel. It is basically "product placement" taken to the wonderful world of blogs. I have an audience that reads this material and who may even read this review. Still not following? You watch re-runs of T.J Hooker and just have to have that bottle of Sun-in that Heather Locklear was using. So you go to the store and buy it. You read something I review and you might go check out that product or service. I am actually intrigued to see what advertisers will give this a go.

I can give you my reaction to the experience thus far. Overall my reaction has been surprise. The registration was easy, the site looks clean and functions well. Someone with more than a modicum of UI design sense was involved. A clean interface and well laid out information leaves me with the impression of business planning and smarts. My recommendation? If you have a blog with some traffic go break off a piece of cash.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Christmas Comes Early

I played a bit of poker last night.

First I won a peep by dominating my table. I had roughly 1/3 of the chips in play for all of the final table.

Then I played 2 tables of $25NL. I won ~$45.

Then I decided to play a $25NL table with the bloggerati - Mets, Speaker, Waffles Fluxer, ScottMC, April TX, JJok, and maybe others? I proceeded to stack off with TP, buy back in work my stack up to around $42 and stack off with TP again. Then I got tilty and chased a flush against some NL East fan and ended up even steven for the night. Other than my beautiful token. What a bunch of aggro retards. Its like playing the .05/.10 with Iggy, only with more variance.

I hate you all.
If you are looking to get that poker player in your life a nice Christmas present, why not a share of the WPT parent company?

Iggy told me, his bestest blogger friend that lives in my house, that I could publish the announcement. Yes Guinness and Poker is going on hiatus, but the real question is why.

Iggy will be moving to Canada for about 4 months. (S)he finally decided to get a sex change. It is up to you to figure out which direction (s) he is going. Nice thing is that the hippy hair works either way.

I think the SNG fields on FTP have benefited greatly from the influx of former party players. They all seem softer than they used to be. Also the level of smack talk has increased markedly.
Yes I put you all in on a nut flush draw, and yes I hit. And yes you called with 2nd pair giving me extra outs I didn't expect.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Which Box Would You Check?

The STLToday has a list of of potential POTUSesesss. I don't see an early fav for my vote.

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Answer is NO!

He is as funny as I am skinny.

CNN has Copy Editors?

The headline read:

"Vet with one leg, pins in other, feels lucky"

So why did they put pins in his missing leg?

Keep scrolling

For photos of a very cute kid.

Absolute Poker: Don't play there. It seems that they have customer service issues. It also seems that some of their affiliates are not what you'd call above board. I tend to use situations like this as a bell weather for how the company would treat me as a customer. I play mostly at Full Tilt and then at Poker Stars.

Speaking of playing poker....on Saturday night I signed up for a 90 person 10+1 SNG on FTP. This was a double stack (3000T to start) with 6 minute levels. I usually play ST 6 handed SNGs so this was a departure from my comfort zone.

I have to say that I played fairly well and won several races. I also hit one huge draw. With Qs9s in the BB I see a flp of AsKs7x. I check raise and the guy min-reraises me. I push over the top with a huge overbet and he calls. He flopped 2 pair with A7o (donkey) and my spade hits the turn and I fade his 4 outer to vault into the top five.

I end up heads up at a 3:2 disadvantage in chips. In the final hand I slowplay KK and lose to his 2 pair. We got it all in on the turn and I missed my 8 outs on the river. Still the second place money was nice and was my biggest hit for quite some time. Of course playing 25-50 Max NL and 5+1 sng's doesn't get you that many big paydays.

I tried to watch the Pro-Am equalizer on saturday but our local affiliate was showing some program about college football. Did this thing broadcast, or was it just here that went without?

I am Iggy and PokerChamp. I am also Daddy. Occasionally I take on the role of Change100 and everysooften I like to think that I am Badblood.

Random anonymous blogger quote of the week:

"On the one hand, I've got a few new rants. On the other, they aren't that new. I may be a pretty simple person."

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Friday, November 10, 2006

Say it isnt sooooooo

Did Pauly pull the plug or get baked to the bejeezus and mis click and dump the thing?

Or did he sell out ink a big deal?

Go look and decide for yourself.

We (me and my little helper midget friend that I wont link to cause he a fucking tease) see the source code for taopoker, so it wasn't deleted, however taking the html refs from that code to his archive yields bubkis, meaning that it may or may not be gone.

He either:
Deleted it and someone took over - not likely since the html is there
Sold it - maybe
Got Hijacked - maybe
If fucking with us while downing hash brownies and taking Change100 in Chinese Poker. - Most likely

January 17, 2001

This article from the Onion back in 2001 is creepy!!!!!

WASHINGTON, DC–Mere days from assuming the presidency and closing the door on eight years of Bill Clinton, president-elect George W. Bush assured the nation in a televised address Tuesday that "our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over."

nation nightmare

President-elect Bush vows that "together, we can put the triumphs of the recent past behind us."

"My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us."

Bush swore to do "everything in [his] power" to undo the damage wrought by Clinton's two terms in office, including selling off the national parks to developers, going into massive debt to develop expensive and impractical weapons technologies, and passing sweeping budget cuts that drive the mentally ill out of hospitals and onto the street.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

On the economic side, Bush vowed to bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession, which would necessitate a tax hike, which would lead to a drop in consumer spending, which would lead to layoffs, which would deepen the recession even further.

Wall Street responded strongly to the Bush speech, with the Dow Jones industrial fluctuating wildly before closing at an 18-month low. The NASDAQ composite index, rattled by a gloomy outlook for tech stocks in 2001, also fell sharply, losing 4.4 percent of its total value between 3 p.m. and the closing bell.

Asked for comment about the cooling technology sector, Bush said: "That's hardly my area of expertise."

Turning to the subject of the environment, Bush said he will do whatever it takes to undo the tremendous damage not done by the Clinton Administration to the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. He assured citizens that he will follow through on his campaign promise to open the 1.5 million acre refuge's coastal plain to oil drilling. As a sign of his commitment to bringing about a change in the environment, he pointed to his choice of Gale Norton for Secretary of the Interior. Norton, Bush noted, has "extensive experience" fighting environmental causes, working as a lobbyist for lead-paint manufacturers and as an attorney for loggers and miners, in addition to suing the EPA to overturn clean-air standards.

Bush had equally high praise for Attorney General nominee John Ashcroft, whom he praised as "a tireless champion in the battle to protect a woman's right to give birth."

"Soon, with John Ashcroft's help, we will move out of the Dark Ages and into a more enlightened time when a woman will be free to think long and hard before trying to fight her way past throngs of protesters blocking her entrance to an abortion clinic," Bush said. "We as a nation can look forward to lots and lots of babies."

nation nightmare jump

Soldiers at Ft. Bragg march lockstep in preparation for America's return to aggression.

Continued Bush: "John Ashcroft will be invaluable in healing the terrible wedge President Clinton drove between church and state."

The speech was met with overwhelming approval from Republican leaders.

"Finally, the horrific misrule of the Democrats has been brought to a close," House Majority Leader Dennis Hastert (R-IL) told reporters. "Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton's America."

"For years, I tirelessly preached the message that Clinton must be stopped," conservative talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh said. "And yet, in 1996, the American public failed to heed my urgent warnings, re-electing Clinton despite the fact that the nation was prosperous and at peace under his regime. But now, thank God, that's all done with. Once again, we will enjoy mounting debt, jingoism, nuclear paranoia, mass deficit, and a massive military build-up."

An overwhelming 49.9 percent of Americans responded enthusiastically to the Bush speech.

"After eight years of relatively sane fiscal policy under the Democrats, we have reached a point where, just a few weeks ago, President Clinton said that the national debt could be paid off by as early as 2012," Rahway, NJ, machinist and father of three Bud Crandall said. "That's not the kind of world I want my children to grow up in."

"You have no idea what it's like to be black and enfranchised," said Marlon Hastings, one of thousands of Miami-Dade County residents whose votes were not counted in the 2000 presidential election. "George W. Bush understands the pain of enfranchisement, and ever since Election Day, he has fought tirelessly to make sure it never happens to my people again."

Bush concluded his speech on a note of healing and redemption.

"We as a people must stand united, banding together to tear this nation in two," Bush said. "Much work lies ahead of us: The gap between the rich and the poor may be wide, be there's much more widening left to do. We must squander our nation's hard-won budget surplus on tax breaks for the wealthiest 15 percent. And, on the foreign front, we must find an enemy and defeat it."

"The insanity is over," Bush said. "After a long, dark night of peace and stability, the sun is finally rising again over America. We look forward to a bright new dawn not seen since the glory days of my dad."

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Offered without comment:

"I will grow a beard. Not some pansy-ass stripe either. I intend to grow the fullest thickest hairiest Grizzly Adams wool ever seen. You'll see it too. I'll be one sucessful (sic) dude."
- blogger who shall remain nameless



What exactly is the deal with the fashion poncho? I mostly see it in mono-chromatic earth tones on top of blacks and greys (thats how my boss wears it). This makes you look like an extra from The Emerald Cafe. If only Ponda Baba would offer to take you outside for some fashion advice. I am not a fashion plate by any means, but I usually am able to get to work without looking ridiculous.

Speaking of looking ridiculous.....

When you wear an out fit so dumb that I have to gather my friends to look at you as you steal chicken from the cafeteria, you might need to rethink the look. Being a 35 year old woman dressed in parachute pants and a down vest makes you look like a cross between Marty McFly and Shabba-Doo. Alternatively I described the look as being a reject from a Subliminal video.



Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Knowledge is Comfort

After watching some of the CNN election coverage I am happy to report that with our random collection of physicists, Ph.D, doctors, lawyers, writers and everyday working grunts the WPBT is no where near the dorkiest collection of bloggers ever assembled.

Did anyone else see the faux fights and near tears as these bloggers both of the intellectual and pseudo politicati ilks locked horns? Dear CNN, there is a reason most of these people are bloggers, much like me, they don't have the face for TV.

Wednesday Notes

"Do you smell that? Its the unique odor of a lame duck caught in gridlock."

-Me, this morning

The flop comes down and you are told that you're a 400/1 favorite.
You were 10,000 to one pre-flop.
You place bet, get a goo reaction and think that you are ready to get your money in the middle.
The turn comes and you're back to 5000/1.

Obviously I am not talking about poker, but something much more important. Its not a lock, but 5000/1 is a hellavu lot better than 400/1.
Now that the elections are over and all but two important races decided lets talk about a real issue: Cats or Dogs.

I was a dog person for the first 23 years of my life. I love dogs, but they are a pain in the ass sometimes. They need to be taken out to poop in the rain and snow. They need to be fed and watered everyday. They smell when wet and many of them drool. They chew stuff. Most shed.

Cats are no picnic either. Cleaning cat boxes in no treat. Cats have indoor accidents. They scratch stuff. They shed. On the upside, I can leave town for the weekend and the Handi-cats make it fine on their own.

Either way I think I am done with mammal pets once the remaining Handi-cats check out. That is until the kids twist my arm and promise they will take care of the pet and please please please please daddy can we have poop machine????

Right now I most like my aquarium full of African cichlids.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Goodbye Young Friend

One of our cats, "The Handi-Cats" has been in the hospital since Sunday. She came home today. Her kidneys are sick, making her very sick. She is the youngest of the three. Chances are slim for a long term recovery so things are very somber around the homestead. Yes I call my cats the "Handi-Cats". Scotch is mine, she has a paw that is nerve dead from frostbite. Morten is the wife's, he "caught" his tail when he was a kitten, bit it bloody, and had to have about 2 inches of the thing chopped off. Until Sunday, Cleo's (ours) "Handi-Cat" superpower was obesity. She is an 8 pound cat trapped in a 12 pound frame. Now she has renal failure, vaulting her to #1 Handi-Cat. We think she ate a toxic plant. Or as Carlin would say, she is trying to commit suicide.

~IDSN October 21, 2005
Cleo, our #1 Handi-Cat passed away yesterday. She made a good run for a year with renal failure. I am happy to say that she spent the majority of her last two days gorked out her mind on pain meds (not that she was in pain, but she was restless and uncomfortable) on my lap watching TV. Over the past year her care had been scaled back from what it was in the beginning. She was on epogen less often and subQ fluids were 200 ML every other day.

Cleo was "our" cat. The first pet the wife and I purchased/adopted together. We like to say that she picked us out. Back when times were the leanest I worked about 10 blocks from our house. I would drive home for lunch and watch Springer or Matlock, depending on what time I ate. These were the days of no cable and 5 channels. Cleo would come and sit on my shoulder to watch me eat. I can only imagine that she was fascinated by my opposable thumbs. We adopted her around January 1998. All told she only lived about eight years. Losing a pet is never easy, but this one I had accepted as gone a long time ago. Frankly she had become a burden, while I feel guilty thinking and admitting that, I can't hide from the truth. She was ill and needed constant maintenance. As of late she was loath to make her way to the litter box and found other welcoming areas about the house to do her business. Fortunately her kidney damage meant that there was little of the ammonia in her urine.

I am no longer the weepy little kid that I once was. In fact I am shocked that I am not more upset than I am. Over to the left is a pic (the only one on this computer) of Cleo at the vet just over a year ago. While she never returned to full form, she did have a nice run this past spring and summer. She was happy and playful and the only one of the three that received much in the way of lap time.

So now the Handi-Cats number is two. We have no plans on replacement or substitution. Much like the government we plan to reduce via attrition. Luckily the boy hasn't become fully aware or attached to the cats. He loves to chase them, but he's not emotionally connected. I am sure we'll see water works when we lose the next one.

Just another one....

This NaNo thing is just a new thing for me to find ways to procrastinate. Instead of actually writing I spend my time trying to add to my buddy list.

I have a procrastination disease. Whatever I set out to do I find ways to distract myself.

In other words this writing thing is tougher than it looks. 5000 words seems like a lot and its only 1/10 of the goal.

Monday, November 06, 2006

A Retort: Conservative Voting Against Each Other

I am not wielding my vote based solely on the actions of today’s administration. More important then the actual actions taken are the precedents that their actions have set and the framework for corruption and further erosion of my rights that they have laid.

I would cede the point that as of today, no "good American" has had a phone tapped or been swept off the street and treated as an enemy. However, the actions of this congress and presidential administration have made the leap to such an occurrence a much shorter one.

I would characterize myself as a libertarian. I hate taxes and I hate my government taking on the nanny role. I realize that I am much more likely to get killed in a traffic accident than I am by a terrorist. Does that mean that we shouldn't be diligent and guard against terror? Of course not. Does it mean that the campaign against terror was used as a step to consolidating and holding power? Possibly.

I very seldom vote for democrats. Their fiscal views have been the overarching reason. This election my feeling is that the religious zealotry has done too much to blind the republicans in power. I am not for excessive spending, excessive debt, a nanny government, erosion of rights, elimination of freedoms or a government that is dumb enough to publicize torture and to make it legal.

The current administration is a complete train wreck. Their fundamental values are not my fundamental values. I refuse to sit by and give them a pass based on a fleeting sense of security or their tax cuts. I refuse to trade my vote for the life of a soldier so that I may enjoy lower interest rates and a better marginal tax rate. I will not cast a ballot for those responsible, for those who lied or for those who propagated and supported the lies. I cannot live with myself if I don't call a spade a spade. President Bush is an idiot. This republican dominated congress has served as his enabler, not as his check. Elitism, bigotry, intolerance and fear mongering are not values I can support.

I want a President that reads the news paper. I want a congress that finds doing the right thing is more important than doing the thing that will garner the support and purse strings of the RNC. I want an expedited and proper end to the action in Iraq. I want and administration that doesn’t receive advice from war criminals. I want congress to be responsive to all of America and not just the religious right.

I am fearful that the path we set upon 6 years ago is one from which there is no retreat. I believe that to ever again to have a chance at a government made up of real conservatives we have to swing the pendulum back now. I am not saying that Nancy Pelosi represents my ideals either. What I am saying is that based on the issues that are most important to me at this moment, Pelosi is the Glinda to Hastert’s ruler of Winkie Country. I can only hope my vote is but one drop of water.


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Weekend Recap

First let me say that writing is hard. I am stuck on my NaNo effort due to all the shit that came down around the house last week.

I had to get permits on Thursday, meet with several professionals in the building trades, etc.

New roof on the front porch, new sheathing for said roof and new joists for said sheathing. In addition the boiler went on lock down and I had to have the service tech make a Saturday call. We poked and prodded and wiggled a wire and got the thing to fire up. He recommended a cleaning and a new thermostat. I replaced the thermostat myself and will call for an appointment for the cleaning.

Words you don't want to hear from your contractor:"Hey, you gotta second?"

Do you have writers block? Read this article. Its by a STL boy done good at GQ. Its funny and well written and makes me want to write more and better.

Should I be writing in the first person or the third person? Which is easier? I can't tell. I prefer to read in the third, but think that the first might be easier to write. Can I write in the first person and change voice? If so how do I accomplish the changes back and fourth?

Saturday, November 04, 2006


I am up a 7:15 today. Not for the kid either. He is still asleep. The boiler quit working last night so I had to arrange a service call. 22 month old kids and no heat don't mix in November in St. Louis. Weekend service call is minimum of $98. Thats really not to bad. I just wish there were a maximum.
Played a little live poker yesterday. I hit the 4/8 tables at the President. Nothing too exciting. Typical passive play from most except on guy he was very good, just a tad too loose and a little lippy for the older regulars. He was hitting 2 pair constantly. I lost to a passive old women with pocket JJ when she refused to raise her KK even in position on the river. That one stung, but I lost the minimum. Had many a failed straight draw that the LAG wouldn't let me see the turn with. Then the hand that made my poker month.

I am in the BB with bi-racial Kings. It is five limpers to me and I decide to check my option. Before you go off on me know this: This is the first time I have ever, EVER, done this in a limit game with AA or KK. I would usually raise and try to get some of the sucky outs to fold. The flop comes K high and all diamonds. I can't say I am in love with this flop, but I have top set and 7/10 outs against the flopped flush. So I bet out. 5 calls! Rugh Roogh Raggy! Turn is a blank. I bet out and get raised by the LAG. I smooth call as does one other. River is a K. I bet out and get raised by the LAG again. I re-raise and he mucks. DQB.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Chapter 1- Done

But its only 1800+ words, well short of the goal.