Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Quiz: Now with Answers

Seeing as how my house may sell tomorrow (we received an offer and placed a counter offer) sold tonight and how I am likely going to Vegas in July, I thought I would give a little something back. In December I put a bounty on G-Rob. Not wanting to seem like I was picking on anyone I started looking for someone else worthy of a bounty (besides G-Rob won't be there anyway). Then I came up with the idea to have a contest. The winner of the contest will get a bounty placed on their head, courtesy of me. So for winning the contest you actually don't win anything, instead someone else wins at your expense.

So here is the contest. Below are 10 seemingly random photos. However each photo is inspired by a particular person with whom I have played poker with in Vegas. Name the person and/or their blog. The first one with 10 correct wins a bounty placed on them, courtesy of moi. Debonoir G-Vegasians not excluded. You can argue that my pic doesn't fit, but screw you I am the final judge and jury. Also if you enter and win but can't go to Vegas in July please designate whom you'd like the bounty place upon. Also, never forget that the power of the WPBT resides in STL. That is right. Team STL won the last longer in December for a sweet payday.

Some hints:

G-Rob is not represented, yet 3 G-Vegasians are. No matter what you think I am not obsessed with G-Rob.

There are 2 New Yorkers and 1 left coaster. The balance are from the midwest. Furthermore, actually being able to identify who is in the photo will help.

1.)
Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa. Thats pronounced "Joke-in"








2.)
This is a photo of Allison Janey who played CJ Craig on the West Wing.
CJ Hoyt








3.)
This is a photo from the Otis Elevator website. An elevator would have been too easy.
Otis







4.)
No that is not Anthony Kedis it is Iggy Pop. Once again, a dwarf would have been too easy.
Iggy.










5.)
I googled F-Train and found this photo.








6.)
Yes this is S.t.B's piss water domestic macro brew of choice.



7.)
Uh, not everyone with this haircut is in "The Cure".
That's a photo of Jesus and Mary Chain. Their album "Automatic" is the inspiration for the title of TooloftheMan's blog.



8.)
This is PokerGeek. Did no one see this? I mean come on its a photo of PokerGeek eating a fish. COME ON!



9.)
That is a Princess.



10.)
Yes that is a photo of a crazy, short, rich guy. No it is not Ross Perot. Its Lou Holtz, former coach of the South Carolina Gamecocks.


So the winner is TooloftheMan who defered to BG. A bird told me that BG isn't going to be in Vegas in July. So BG, who do you want the bounty on?

940 Miles

The round trip this weekend was 940 miles. Not a record by any measure, but still a bit of a jaunt for a 2 adults and 17 month old to handle over 60 hours. The wedding was a good time. Nice to see a lot of people that we hardly see any more.

I finished. The Professor, the Banker and the Suicide King. It was a very quick read. I enjoyed the book. More than the details of the game I enjoyed the background on Mr. Beal and the members of the poker team. I especially enjoyed the background on Ted Forrest. He is a true character. The bawls he displayed in sitting down with Andy and Chip Reece were unbelievable. Also, his run of luck and timing as chronicled in the story were unreal.

I haven't played in a few days. I don't even want to pick up the computer. I do want to head out for some live action. But right now I have no desire to play online. NONE. I think I am catching a virus. A live action virus.

Friday, May 26, 2006

The Way I Remembered When I Was a Kid

When I was a kid Memorial Day Weekend was spent the same way, every year. Me my mom, dad, grandmother and grandmother would pile into a car. Usually it was the 10 ton hunk of Detroit steel that my grandparents were driving, be it a Cadillac or a LTD. We would get on the highway and head out of the city towards Earham.We would decorate graves and listen to my grandmother tell stories about uncle this and aunt that. She had something like 24 aunts and uncles so the stories harly ever repeted, at least in the same day.

From Earlham we would move on to Winterset, home of the Duke and the Bridges of Madison County. Winterset was my grandfather's boyhood home. Most of his family was buried there. His stories were shorter and more to the point. Usually something in the range of "He was a cranky old son-of-a-bitch" or "she was really nice to me." The Dairy Hut/King/Prince was always a stop for us. They had my favorite, Lemon Ice Cream. Soft Serve Lemon Ice Cream still hold a special place in my stomach.

Through all this driving we always had the Indy 500 on the radio. I didn't know one driver from the next. I just rooted for whoever grandpa was rooting for.

So many years have passed since we made one of those trips. My grandparents now lay near that cranky son-of-a-bitch. I think my grandmothers funeral was the last time I have been to one of those towns.

Memorial Day is for a lot of things: poker, beer, brats, race cars....stupid friggen weddings in to far away Ohio.....but mostly so you can remember a relative, a loved one, a friend that has long since, or more recently passed. It gives you an excuse to memorialize about them and for a moment dwell on the past. As I sit strapped in a car hurtling towards Ohio this weekend I will be dreaming of lemon ice cream and thinking about long rides in cadillacs.

He is here. Slowhand is here.

Slowhand will be in STL on September 18th.

I think I just ruined my pants. I was 16 or 17 the last time I saw him in concert. Much too young to appreciate my 14th row floor seats. And very ignorant of the true magic he can bring to a piece like Crossroads. I still get chills when I think about watching him rip through Layla.

Yet a little part of me wishes he was going nationwide with Cream instead. The product I saw in high school was a bit over blown. A drummer and a crazy percusionist. Rhythm guitars and back up singers.

Eric, Jack and Ginger. Guitar, Bass and Drums. What else do you need? A little smack, I suppose, but other than that?

Anyone for Tennis?

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Uh, Really?

PokerBlogger: i'm WORKING

PokerBlogger: so tired

PokerBlogger: but working

PokerBlogger: cleaning up for asia

Chilly: ASIA, the band?

PokerBlogger: no

PokerBlogger: the countr

PokerBlogger: y

Chilly: uhhh Asia isn't a country

Chilly: I'm soooo blogging that.

PokerBlogger: oh whatever country, continent close enough.

Doing my Part

Iggy pointed us all to this:

SAVE ONLINE POKER!
Saw this in some random forum:
Act Now on the Legislation
Voice your opinion on this important legislation.

Takes a whole 20 seconds, and it automatically sends it for you.


I did it and received this response:

This will let you know I received your communication expressing your views on the issue of Internet gambling.

I appreciate your contacting me and bringing your concerns to my attention. The issues you raised about an individual's right to pursue recreation on the Internet certainly warrant serious consideration. As you may be aware, HR 4411 and HR 4777 seek to outlaw gambling games online. These bills are currently pending action by the House Judiciary Committee. I want to assure you that I will give full consideration to all the issues you raised if these bills are presented for a vote on the House floor.

Thank you for your correspondence. I hope you will continue to share your interests and opinions on the vital issues facing Congress.

Sincerely,

Wm. Lacy Clay
Member of Congress


WLC/mlb


I know that things like this have little value, Mr. Clay will vote the way his fundraiser chair says he should, but other than staging a million poker player march I dunno what I can do. I guess its time to look for a place in Canada. Isn't it true that these bills DON'T outlaw gambling online, but outlaw CERTAIN gambling online? I thought I was told that there would be exemptions to Horse Racing and maybe something else. I guess I have to dig up the text and read them.

Dear you dumb plutocrats: Do you relize you can legalize it and tax it.

Dear you dumb casino operators: Did you know that people you gamble online are more likely to take a trip to a casino. Plus if it were legal you could extend your relationship to the customer via your online gambling instance. If you outlaw it fewer people will gamble and fewer people will go to your hotels and bricks and mortar casinos.

Dear you dumb citizens: Do you realize that your personal liberties are being eroded on a daily basis?

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 7330476

The Holiday

I will be spending 12-14 hours of my Holiday weekend stuck in a car. Speaking of stuck, I decided to play a little $100 max NL on FTP last night. First hand I get JJ in the cut off. There are two limpers to me (.50/1 blinds) so I pop it to $5, probably a little light. It fold to the guy on my right who smooth calls.

The flop is uncoordinated rainbow of undercards. Perfect. He bets out I raise the pot and he smooth calls. Alarm bells are going off and lights are flashing. I smell a set. the turn put a wheel draw on the board. He checks and I bet the pot. He smooth calls again. River puts a deuce up completing the wheel draw. So now I am dead to a set and any Ace. The set is more likely but the Ace is possible. This guy had already tripled up so he was either good or a complete donkey calling station, meaning that he flopped his set or he runner-runnered a wheel. He could have been THAT good and pushed me off the hand with air, but I don't think so. The limp smooth call pre-flop smelled like a small pocket pair to me. I was beat and I laid it down.

(edit: upon further review this is the worst laydown known to man. He had TT or 99)

So in the interest of killing time in the car this weekend I used my Amazon Prime membership and bought a couple of books. The first is Gary Carson's book The Complete Book of Hold 'Em Poker: A Comprehensive Guide to Playing and Winning. After reading this entry on his blog I just couldn't pass this up for $9.72. The second book is Professor, the Banker, and the Suicide King, The : Inside the Richest Poker Game of All Time.
Yes I am THAT guy that played poker with Mr. Craig last winter and still hasn't read his book. But that will change this weekend.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Live Poker is my Favorite

So I played at my new favorite card room on Saturday night. The President on the Landing in downtown St. Louis. the game is 4/8 LHE (technically its 2/4/8) with a 10% rake up to $4 max. I don't know if/what the BBJ drop is. Sorry Felicia I didn't pay that close of attention. The BBJ is 180K and the qualifying hand is Aces Full of Jacks beat (both hole cards must play for both players) winner (loser) gets 50% other player (winner) 25% and table splits 25%. ACES FULL OF JACKS! Word has it that the jackpot hasn't been hit for 14 months and the backup jackpot is 120K.

That means every Ace/Face, pocket pair and suited connector is seeing the flop. We'll most of them.

Why is the President my new favorite card room. A couple of reasons. First the dealers are better than at Harrahs. They are friendlier too. Second, the structure of the game is better. Third the players are more colorfull. Less drunken frat boy and more grinders of every shape. Do not take the meaning of Grinder to mean pro/good. Some are and some aren't.

One guy plays top 10 hands and rams with them. He can also lay them down. One guy plays any two in posisiton (usually has the odds) and plays them passivly even when he flops quads. The nice thing was that the table was a good mix of fish, rockish solids, LAGs and recreational players. The other nice thing is that the solids and regular lags gave me immediate respect. A check raise on the flop let me show down for one big bet. Continuation bets were effective in 2 or 3 way pots.

My only leaks were being to excited about playing live, playing too many hands and being card dead. I had plenty of starting cards and my preflop raises were a little to effective winning me the blinds 75% of the time. The play was actually solid until around mid-night when everyone started to get tired and fall into passive call station mode.

Three hands of note.

I am in ep with AQo and I pop it. Only the button calls (1seat passive calling station) and we see a flop of 257? rainbow. I bet out and get called. All the way. On the river I still have Ace high and my bet is at least met with a hint of hesitation but he calls. His A5s holds.

I get Aces cracked. Im in the big blind and see it limp 6 times in front of me. I ram and jam but the river is a Q that pairs the board and I drop it. Good thing I did. The 1 seat had the queen. He called all the way down. Never a raise . I might have tried to checkraise the flop there. I thought about after my bet got called 4 times.

Back to battling the 1 seat one last time. I am in the cut-off with 97o and I limp with 6 of my brothers. The flop is seven high. It checks to the 1 seat and he bets. 2 seat calls. I am in the 4 seat and I pop it. Folds back to the 1 seat who calls. 2 seat goes in the tank. He folds. I get check called all the way down. My TP is good. The 1 seat mucks. My table image is destroyed, but in a good way.

My only complaint from the President would be the lack of reasonable cocktail service. Once the waitress just brought a trough of beers down. That rocked, but we didn't see her again for at least an hour. The floor is friendly and the dealers were personable. Also the have $60 NL SNGs going off all the time. I think they are 20% juice (50+10) and per Felicia's advice I'll pass. I don't know the current payout structure but that last time I checked they were winner takes all. Also, no shuffle masters so the pace can be a bit slow depending on the dealer. Downs are 60-80 minutes, so make friends because that dealer isn't going anywhere for a while.

Friday, May 19, 2006

I'll Bite

Peer Pressure is a bitch and I am easily influenced.

1. What is the biggest mistake people make at a NL table?
Slowplay. I see Aces slowplayed, bottom 2, low flushes and ass end straights all played like the holder flopped quads in a multiway pot.

2. What is the biggest mistake people make at a Limit table?
Passive play. You have to bet with the nuts and raise with draws once in a while.

3. Why do you play poker?
My soccer career ended after my team won the IM championchip my freshman year in college. Football ended in the fall of 1994. I can't scare up a regular raquetball game and solitare is frustrating.

4. If you weren't playing poker, what would you be doing?
Watching TV, reading, productive things like working on the house(s) and such.

5. What is your favorite poker book and why?
Phil Gordon's Little Green Book. I read it on a flight from South Cakalacky to STL. It is the quickest way to get up to speed in NL and really jumped started my tourney game.

6. Who is your favorite poker player and why?
Pro- Phil Gordon, he doesn't seem to take himself too seriously and realizes that it is just poker.
That I have met- Iggy and Otis. Who tells better stories about their games and other's games?

7. Which poker player do you dislike the most and why?
Pro - Danny N. he seems like a douchebag to me. He is a hollywoodesque blaber mouth thinking that his religious and personal prefereces are important because he's been on tv. That and the fact that he is bald and has a comb forward. Suck it up. Play the hand you're dealt.
That I met-Dimebag - he always sucks out on me with AJo. ALWAYS!

8. Do your coworkers
know about your blog?
Which blog? A few do and a few don't.

9. What is the most you have won in a cash game or MTT (both live and online)?
Cash game - $700 playing 2-5 NL $500 max buy ( I bought in for $300 and cashed out $1000).- Live
$400 playing 2-4 BBJ on Party in one night over 2 tables.

10. What is the most you have lost in a cash game or in one day total (both live and online)?
$300 live -busted my buyin at 2-5 NL
$100 playing 2-4 BBJ on party

11. Who was your first poker blog read?
jmcautomatic.blogspot.com

12. What satisfies you more, your aces holding up for a big pot or a bluff working for a big pot?
BLUFF!

13. Why do you blog?
Why does a crack whore smoke crack?

14. Do you read blogs from an RSS reader like bloglines or do you visit each blog?
Usually visit, except my work has blocked a few blogs with their own URL's such as Bill Rini and April&Chris so I read those via RSS.

15. Would you rather play poker for a living than do what you currently do for a living?
I would rather play poker, but I have no desire to grind a bankroll up to where I would need it to be.

16. Do you wear a tin foil hat on occasion?
Only while sweating Phil Gordon on FTP and watching him suck out 4 or 5 all-ins.

17. If you had to pin it down to one specific trait, what does a great poker player have (or do) that separates them from an average player?
Balls to make a play and brains to lay it down. The average player has the balls or the brains but usually not both.

18. Is
Drizz the coolest person on the planet for naming his baby Vegas?
No, Drizz was already too cool for school.

19. What is your primary poker goal and are you close to accomplishing it?
I want to play 5/10, 6/12 and maybe even 10/20 without having to risk my entire banroll to buy in. I am close to 5/10, I might be there this year.

20. What is your primary online site and why?
FTP, because I play on a MAC and they are the only major Mac friendly site.

21. What site do you dislike and why?
I have only spent serious time on Party, Pokerstars and Full Tilt. Of those Party is the worst for all its attributes except the fish. There is no fish quite like a party fish.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Rolling around my head

Tomorrow I get to go to my brother in laws 8th grade graduation. I firmly believe that the pre-school, kindergarten, 5th grade and 8th grade graduations are a root cause for many of the problems befalling our nations youth. By proping these youths up with praise for praises sake we are diminishing the value of real accomplishments. Unless a signifigant portion of your class isn't moving on to the 9th grade, this is a celebration for little more than the change from classes in one building to classes in another.

A lot of you out there wonder why healthcare costs have gone up so much over the last 20-30 years. I have a simple analogy for you. How much did you pay for television in 1980? 1990? 2000? What caused the increase?

In 1980 you were most likely watching via antenna and only receiving a handful of channels. I received 4: ABC, CBS, NBC and Public television. In 1990 I had graduated to about 30 channels of cable tv. I now had a monthly bill that was somewhere around $15-$20 a month, but I had 30 or so channels including the very important ESPN and aussie rules football. In 2000 I really made the step up. DirecTv. My bill is $60 per month and I have more channels than I could ever watch. There is more programming and the quality is also higher. I can catch most Cards and Blues games. I have NFL Sunday, Sunday night and MNF. I get so many college football games, once again I could never watch them all. Remember 1986, you might get 2 or three college football games a weekend.

Healthcare is the same way. We have more treatments, more drugs more options. The quality of the care, drugs diagnostics has increased. The problem is that unlike TV, we as a society believe that it is important for everyone to have access to all the channels of health. Imagine what the state of TV would be if those that could afford it, paid for it and those that couldn't got it for free via charity and government subsidies.

Healthcare is a victim of its own success and good old American entrepreneurship. We have too many options and you need to pay for the option to flip to that option at anytime. I can predict that I will never watch Lifetime, but I can't predict that I will never need a corneal transplant.

Poker in a Lifestyle Mag

So I am reading a recent version of Cigar Afficianado. It has a Las Vegas Showgirl on the cover and is supposedly going to inform me all about the best spots in Vegas. I usually go here for that type of coverage, but I do like me some Showgirls so I decide to read on. Much to my delight there is an entire subsection of the Vegas section devoted to Poker.

The coverage is all about pokers rise, the stars of the game, the best rooms in LV and such. But it is obvious that it was written and/or edited by someone who doesn't play. The first clue: Eric Seidel was identified as Erick Lindgren in lead photo. YIKES! The article is simplisitc and really adds nothing to the knowledge of the averge recreactional poker player.

But thats not really what this is about. How can an article like that get published in such a good magazine? I mean the article went beyond fluff piece and was air. With so many actual poker players that are also journalists it is laughable that this piece was written or edited or both by someone with zero knowledge of the game.

Maybe G-Rob some eucher player wrote it.

Go read this instead.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Cards 1 Mets 0





Work or Fun

You play poker to earn a living and I play for recreation. The difference? I get my money in with the worst of it from time to time because I am not as good as you and I love putting you on tilt. I love rivering boats with my flopped sets versus your turned flushes.

Thats right I am that guy.

I don't play over my head. I only lose what I can afford.

I'll never be a pro. I might some day make my way to 5/10. I'll never play NL higher than $500 max buy.

One more thing. I do know how to play. If you piss me off I might just break you.
*******************************************
So I am driving to work today and I get stopped at a red light. I glance in my rear view mirror and notice that the woman in the car behind me is fiddling with her face. I watch curiously. I can tell that she's not applying makeup but it takes 5 seconds to figure out what she is doing.

With her left hand at 12 o'clock on the steering wheel and using her right hand and her rear view mirror.....she is plucking hair out of her chin. Then she takes the plucked hair and puts it on her left hand. She plucked at least 7 times that I counted. The back of her left hand must have looked like a little forest.

Now I'm not saying that I don't groom in public, but I keep my public grooming more on the emergency level and try to be discrete. You know, huge boogers and such. This was planned grooming. Nobody just has tweezers and decides to start plucking at the red light.

I was at the front of the line. So I decided to be a dick and let my car roll, like the light had turned green, to see what she'd do, especially with the chin hair forest on the back of her left hand. She did the "panic glance" and started to pack up but then I stopped and she went back to plucking. Then the light turned green and I had to pay attention to the road.

I wonder if she saves those chin hairs.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Fuck Bobby Bracelet

I needed to address the situation but didn't feel the need to be creative so I am plagiarising myself in this ode to the "colon hole with a jagoff attached" -'s brother.


So some lilly white middle class guy has been dealt the shit hammer and told that he can no longer blog? And I am supposed to care? Listen, I get up every morning and change shit filled diapers whilst being screamed at by my own spawn. I am supposed to care that some two bit soccer player and part time poker fish is getting his ubergeigh blog shut down?

Fuck that.

Don't you know there are people in this world without a job? Real people in need of jobs without the means to obtain one. WHO ARE PERFECTLY WILLING TO NOT BLOG IN EXCHANGE FOR A PAYCHECK! In fact I am perfectly willing to be paid not to blog. Send me your cash.

He's really hurting for an outlet though. I can tell by the way he cut back on his thrice confirmed crap. And how he stopped hitting us over the head with that picture of him and the 2 playboy bunnies. I heard that photo cost him just under a grand. What was that BB? huh? Oh that's right you said you had it thrice confirmed. Who cares if you can blog? At least I'm not some huge penis with a whiney bitch attached. (.....um, err, ahh, yeah....)

To show that I am not a heartless bastard I did some research to see if I could help poor little BB with his blog problem. I just finished reading an article about his plight. It says that 92.7% of cases are due to "...being a huge pussy, unable to tell your boss to go fuck themselves" This article also contained the word fistula. I am sure that was part of the reason too. Like I ever had a doubt.

If BB wants to blog he'll do what any self respecting large membered degenerate would do, he'll create a fake profile on MySpace and carry on with his pathetic rants.

I hope you're back online soon.

Love,

Chilly

Random notes from lunch

Did you know that Hans Zimmer is the same guy that wrote the score to the Lion King (won an Oscar), the Da Vinci code AND co-founded the Buggles of "Video Killed the Radio Star" fame? I figured all the Buggles fell into an oblivion. Oh, and the UK version of the Motion Picture Association asked the producers of the Da Vinci Code to tone down the score because it was to tense for childeren. Thats right, the music was too scary. Thanks to my print version of the WSJ for those tidbits.

Also from the WSJ: MySpace was bought a while back by Rupert Murdoch's News Corp ($500 + million). Yes that News Corp of Fox News fame. The owners of MySpace (I refuse to link to myspunk because I think its dumb) have insisted that services such as Photobucket.com work to censor out unwanted images or have all links to their material from Myspunk banned. What is an unwanted image? Well, a bare butt with a thong is okay, but two snowmen fornicating is taboo. To this end Photobucket has a crew of 9 people reviewing and censoring photos. In addition they plan to add two more crews of 10 people each in the near future. Why? Because Rupert wants to sell ads on YOUR MySpace page and the Marriott doesn't want an offer for $69/ night placed next to a photo of 69 69's a night. Its the cash, baby.

Did you know that the Bass Master Classic being televised on ESPN today had captured and radio tagged 2 bass and spent a lot of time following them around the lake. The two fish are named Jack and Arnie.

Friday, May 12, 2006

WPBT and the NSA

I was driving to work today thinking about dial-a-shots. I know, many of you out there were. Now I must admit that I'm no DaS regular. I have done two. One with Pauly and one with Otis, both on the night of the Little Willie Invitational ( I should add that one of those was a dial-a-hit for one of the parties). But then I started thinking about how many WPBT's call cross country and even inter-country to perform a DaS.

The NSA has those records. They also know all about those late night calls from NYC to Philly to LA and back to G-Vegas. They know that those same cell phones have been on the same network in Las Vegas several times.

How high on the NSA Al Queda watch list is this guy? I mean he has people from all over the world calling him at all hours of the day and night, and then at random times he jumps on a plane to go visit these people. He went to the Carribbean, Las Vegas, Los Angles, A.C. and Greenville. The DaS activity, intra and inter national calling records, cell phone records that merge onto the same network a couple of times a year, etc, etc... Doesn't that all sound like the type of activity that the NSA fishing expedition would scrutinize?

No I am not a conspiracy nut. But I do think that since September 11, 2001 we, free Americans, have turned a blind eye to the governement and its intrusion into our personal lives. I really believe that "the governement that governs best, governs least." I am for a smaller government, lower taxes and libertarian principles of freedom.

Lets just say that the CIA, FBI of NSA never actually scrutinized the Dial-a-Shot crowd, isn't knowing that they have the ability to know exactly how many DaS's Al had last year reason enough for outrage? I think it is. I am pissed.

As full disclosure I think I should add the following: I am a registered Republican and I voted for W. (really I voted against Gore and Kerry). I want lower taxes AND smaller government, not lower taxes and BIGGER government. In addition, the chickens are coming home to roost on the war as well. This summer I will have 3 cousins deployed in the US military, One in Iraq, one in Afghanistan and one yet to be determined.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Someone wiped and flushed

I usually don't get all preachy and political, but this story really irks me. By irk I mean it touches a nerve that runs so deep that my neck is pulsing and my cheeks are flushed. Is it illegal? Is it unconstitutional?

Lets dig up James Madison and ask him, shall we?

IDSN: Mr. Madison,...
James Madison: James is fine, proceed.
IDSN: Thanks, James, my assistant prepared you for this line of questioning by showing and explaining the telephone to you, is that correct?
JM: That is correct.
IDSN: Did you read the brief of the NSA and there...
JM: Let me first say that the idea of the NSA as a whole is entir...
IDSN: Thank you James, we'll debate the constitutionality of the NSA later, right now we just want to talk about the phone records.
JM: FINE.
IDSN: So, in your opinion, as a framer of the constitution and the bill of rights, are the actions of the NSA constitutional?
JM: No.

There you have it, straight from the founding father's mouth. The NSA is currently tapping my phone. I'm sure the IRS is preparing crawl up my breach. Now for your productivity killing pleasure, I give you georgie.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Oooh! Shiney!

Today was a great day, other than the weather mostly ruining what I had planned to do... today was my first trip inside the new Busch Stadium. It is new and cool and the seats I had were great. The waitstaff at the concession I went to were SLOW. The Cards won. It rained. Not enough to post-pone or rain delay the game, just enough to piss me off.

Lunch was had at the Tap Room. I had the Northern Muscles and 2 Kolchs. That only means something to those of you that frequent the Tap Room or Schlafly Beer. I had a couple $7.75 meister chows at the game. Then I left in the 7th and went to play poker.

The President here in town spreads Hold'em and Stud. I asked about Stud and they said a game only goes off on Fridays. The Hold'em is of the 4-8 variety, but with 1-2 blinds. So a preflop raise makes it 6 to go go instead of 8 and no you can't make it 4 to go preflop. The game is pretty passive and a bit weak. I hadn't played live forever so I was a bit tight. However, I won 5 pots, only one of them where I caught the flop. The others were taken down with C-bets or on the turn. I lost a few showdowns (3) all from the blinds. Only one hurt, it erased my profit and then some. My Aces up lost to a better Aces up. I bet out from the small blind, check raised the turn and bet the river. UGH.

I did say the play was passive and weak, right? Yeah, I counted 4 times where the nuts were not raised on the end. Seriously, twice a nut flush, in position and just a call on the end. The last hand I was there to see turned pretty wild. We all thought the BBJ was coming. The guys got heads up on 4th and bet pretty hard. The river brought about raises to $48. That pot was huge. Guy flopped trips with JJ, turn came a Q giving the other guy a ROYAL. River was a Q. The betting was lax until the river turn, I certainly thought it was straight versus set. When the river hit I was sure one of them hit runner runner quads.

This was my first time playing ring at the President. I must say the game is good. The table was full of regulars, many just there to try and pick up the BBJ. The BBJ is Aces full of Jacks beat. Both players must have an Ace in their hand to make a qualifing boat, both cards must play to make a straight flush or quads, I think. Pretty lax BBJ qualifiers.

The Rake is an alright 10% up to $4. No shufflers, but the dealers are quick, quicker than I expected. 4 tables of 4-8 were going while I was there, very little wait and none of the tables busted. I was suprised for a Wednesday afternoon. I'll be back. I ended the day down $38. Most of that was lost on the Aces Up hand.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Effing with the Best Buy Brain Trust

Paul Harris blogged this. I almost fell out my chair laughing. Basically 80 people dressed up in blue shirts and khaki pants and invaded a Best Buy. They got it all on video.

"She then lectured me about how I violated her civil rights and how I had endangered people in the store by distracting the employees."


At that point a Best Buy employee wearing a black shirt came running over shouting “She doesn’t work here!” but the girl was already heading down the escalator.

He turned to me and said, “You can’t help her!”

“Oh, believe me,” I said. “I wasn’t helping her.”

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Attention Bonus Whores

Check this out. 100% bonus up to $600.

Say that again?

100% up to $600.

I should add that this is for Bugsy's Club, which is MAC and PC friendly.
PokerGeek is getting hitched. We're mere months from video shorts like this one.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Buy this house

Looking for a nice place to live in South Saint Louis. Looking for a house near Ted Drewes, St. Francis Park, Washington University, Saint Louis University, Highway 40, Highway 44, St. Louis Community College at Forest Park, Busch Stadium, beer, pizza, wings and other keywords I am forgetting?

Buy this house.

Flashback and Stress

The realtor emailed me today. No takers on the house yet. Of course not that many people have actually looked at it. Its been on the market for 9 days. Not a long time, yet and eternity all at once. I am stressed that it won't sell. We have another looker tonight and an open house this weekend. I have this pit of acid in my stomach. I want this to be over. I want to get my stuff moved and push on with my life. The wife and the kid seem to be handling what I call "the house straddle" better than me. I don't like uncertainty. I want the house to sell. Oh and the bank sent a letter saying my adjustable rate mortgage is going to adjust July 1. Eeek. Sell baby sell.

It is preparing to storm here in STL. That storm was combined with someone talking about the Tim Allen movie The Shaggy Dog. I immediatly flashed back to 3 years old watching The Shaggy DA with my Dad at Merle Hay Mall. When we left the theater it was all stormy. Now I am remembering watching The Cat From Outer Space with my Dad at the same theater. I actually don't remember watching either movie, I remember being in the parking lot afterwards remembering the movie. Funny thing how memories are made and imprinted on our brains.

It makes me wonder what my boy's first memories will be. The Shaggy DA is close for me. I also remember walking through my parents first house, before they bought it. There was a hole in the kitchen floor. I don't remember the place we lived before that. I remember pieces of pre-school. A card I made for my dad, sitting in a circle singing songs.

My first memory of cards was playing a dumbed down version of Gin with the ancient Italian lady across the street. She would babysit me and later watch me afterschool. I think my parents and the neighboor parents kept paying her well after we were all old enough to latch key. Her husband was named Joe and he could only see out of one eye. The other was all white with a shadow of the pupil. Kinda freaky for little kids. Anyway...we called the game Winter. To win you had to pair your cards and lay them down. You could make a pair by drawing from the deck. I don't remember discarding. Hmmm. Norah is gone, she passed a few years ago and I don't remember the rules. A game lost forever.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Poker Blogger's Dictionary

  1. AlCantHang Experience, The (verb) - Indefinable. Must be experienced.
  2. Alfredo, The*(Noun) - A8. The Alfreado plays in Vegas and shoots your bankroll in the back of the head right before it deposits its self in front of your opponent.
  3. Blogfather (noun) - See Iggy.
  4. Blow Out (verb) - To re-suckout a suckout. For example I had AJs vs my donkey opponents KJo. He flopped a K hitting his 3 outer and I then rivered an A hitting my 3 outer.
  5. Boathouse, The (noun) - Typical location for the AlCantHang Experience.
  6. Bonus Whoring (verb) - Bonus whoring is the act of playing on a particular site in order to take advantage of a reload or some other type of promotional bonus. Many people chase bonuses from site to site and even include bonuses in their monthly win/lose figures.
  7. Brown Shirt (noun) - A lucky donkey holding most of G-Rob's stack as the result of G-Rob getting Little Willie'd 4 or 5 times in a row. Can substitute any blogger with G-Rob.
  8. Bubblicious (noun, adj.) - To just miss the money in a poker tourny.
  9. Canada (noun) - Land of the four card straight and the 1 card pair.
  10. Crapshoot (noun) - A poker tourney with quickly escalating blinds in relation to the the starting chip stack. This type of tourney structure gives the donkeys and fish an extra edge as the poker blogger is now a slave to variance and has little opprotunity to out manuver the dead money.
  11. C the W (verb) - Blogger euphemism for self abuse.
  12. Donkey (noun) - 1.) A stupid fish that plays hands like 7-2o without a good reason. 2.) Anyone who beats you while behind the whole way. 3.) That guy in the 3 seat that keeps betting $2 on the $4 rounds.
  13. Donkey Dump (verb) - An unnecessary shipment of a significant quantity of chips from your stack to your opponent's stack resulting from a gross misplay of a hand such as a bluff, an overplay of an inferior hand, or just plain stupidity on your part often caused by a poker disease called temporary obstinatia.
  14. Excalibur Poker Room (noun) - 1.) Exactly what a poker room would look like if poker playing 5th graders wrote a paper about the middle ages. 2.) Home.
  15. Fishing Hole, The (noun) - Synonym for Party Poker.
  16. FSY (noun) - Fucking Stupid Yank, Brit for getting outplayed (badbeat) by a drunk American.
  17. G-Vegas (noun) - Physical home to a large cadre of poker bloggers.
  18. Gigli (noun) - To be first out in a B&M WPBT event.
  19. Groovy Odds (noun) - 1.) Getting to see a flop with a bad hand because the donkeys at your table give you the correct odds to call. 2.) G-Rob Math.
  20. Hammer (noun) - The 7-2 off suit. The 7-2 suited is an inferior hand (known as the Nerf Hammer) because it is much less likely to hit a Lewis Wilbanks for a suckout.
  21. Hammer, Playing the (verb) - Coming in for a raise with the hammer. Limping or checking from the big blind is not officially playing the hammer. Check raising is encouraged. True hammer players will continue to push all the way, even if the board missed them completely. There is no shame is showing down a 7 high hammer.
  22. Hammer Quads (noun) - Playing the hammer and catching quads.
  23. HEEEAWWWW call (verb) - A call a player makes after convincing himself that his opponent is on some very specific draw.
  24. Hilton Sisters, The (noun) - Pocket Queens.
  25. H.O.R.S.P.E. (noun) - A poker game played by bloggers. It is the traditional H.O.R.S.E. with a P added for Pineapple. Also know as P.H.R.O.S.E.
  26. Iggy (noun)- 1.) He from which all others evolved. 2.) Star of "Dusty Dancing: Too Small to be Dirty" and "Roadhouse 2: Midget Bowling Night".
  27. IGHN (verb) - After a bad beat: I Go Home Now.
  28. IM (noun) - Object of male poker blogger desires.
  29. Indeed (adverb) - A literary device used by professional poker bloggers to denote irony and/or sarcasm or to add emphasis to the absurd.
  30. Inner Donkey (noun) - The little donkey inside all of us that takes control of our betting hand from time to time causing infuriating Donkey Dumps to occur.
  31. Jackhammer (noun)- J4. The Jackhammer is the cousin to the hammer. Created in G-Vegas, its powers are strong.
  32. Jopke (verb) - The ultimate Hellmuthian move. To unwittenly make ones self into a donkey.
  33. Junk (noun) - 1.) Daddy parts 2.) Mommy parts.
  34. Junk Kicker (noun) - One who kicks others in the junk.
  35. Kicked in the Junk (verb) - 1.) Taking a bad beat from a donkey. 2.) Getting out played, either by a superior player, your own mistakes or the will of the poker gods. 3.) Taking a foot to the groin. Note: If you've been kicked in the junk visit this site and tell the world.
  36. Little Willie (verb, noun) - A Suck-out or to suck-out. As in "I got all my money in pre-flop with pocket jacks. This guy Little Willie'd me by hitting trip 9's on the river with his 9-2o."
  37. Lewis Wilbanks (noun) - Denotes getting kicked in the junk by runner runner. Refers to Carl Lewis and Jennifer Wilbanks.
  38. Lemur (noun) - Can'tHang for Donkey.
  39. Luckbox (noun) - One who consistently gets their money in with the worst of it and manages to suck out a win. See photo:
  40. MicroPenis (noun) - 1.) Less than average junk, way less. 2.) The poker blogger's greatest fear as it may denote weak and or passive play. 3.) A descriptor for someone who kicked you in the junk.
  41. Negative EV (adj.) - Anything that will cost you money in the long run. For example: Blackjack, Pai Gow or Party Poker Blogger table. Commonly written as -EV.
  42. Nerf Hammer (noun) - The 7-2 suited, much less powerful than the Hammer.
  43. PG (noun) - Object of female poker blogger desire.
  44. PGP (verb) - Play Great Poker.
  45. Pimp (verb) - To promote the work of other bloggers on your blog.
  46. Punter (Noun) - Aussie for Donkey.
  47. Redneck Riviera (noun) - Where professional Poker Bloggers live while on extended assignment in Las Vegas.
  48. Reverse Bubble Boy (noun) - The first player out of a tournement in the money.
  49. Sham Seat (noun) - The 10 seat at a poker table.
  50. Shocker, The (noun) - A2. All A2 combinations qualify however the "natural" is if the Ace is a spade or a club and the deuce is a heart or a diamond. You figure it out.
  51. SoCo (noun) - Type of alcohol with both the lowest number of bloggers drinking it and the highest per blogger rate of consumption.
  52. Solo Rage (verb) - 1.) When a blogger plays an extended B&M session in Vegas. At the end of said session the blogger proceeds to go on a bender of booze and broads (or guys) by him/herself only to be seen hours or days later. 2.) When a friend/spouse of a blogger cuts loose and parties hard by themselves leaving the poker blogger free to play poker, as in: "I came home from playing a twelve hour session to find the wife standing there sweaty and naked, fresh off a solo rager."
  53. Sooted (adj) - Two junky cards of the same "soot", usually played by a Donkey by calling a pre-flop capped pot and hitting a Lewis Wilbanks for a Little Willie.
  54. Super Cunt (adj) - 1.) G-Vegas descriptor for undesirable female. 2.) Las Vegas stripper superhero.
  55. Tourist (noun) - A recreational poker player. Usually plays any Ace to the river.
  56. Tourist, The (noun) - A7, usually offsuit. Always cracks your Cowboys.
  57. Twice Confirmed Huge Junk (noun) - 1.) Junk (usually male) that is larger than the average reference point of the beholder. 2.) Opposite of MicroPenis. Also Thrice Confirmed Huge Junk.
  58. WPBT (noun) - World Poker Blogger Tour. Pronounced: World (pause) PokerBlogger (pause) Tour.
*The Alfredo is Copyright 2006 Chilly, All rights reserved.
The Poker Blogger's Dictionary was originally compiled June 21, 2005

You call that a blog?

There has been a lot of talk about blogs and the hierarchy of blog, the reason people blog, the talented and the talentless etc. etc. Review what these three two people had to say about the subject.

For those of you trying to find your way in the world and unsure that you ever will I submit these 3 pieces for you to review.

1.) Iggy: September/October 2003
2.) Pauly: August 2003
3.) Up4Poker:September 2003 (Read CJ, skip Otis, Otis has a gift and doesn't help make my point)

Yes, everyone crawls before they walk. Unfortunately some people try to run first, wind up falling and smashing their face into the curb, going to the ER, getting shot with potassium chloride and dying of a heart attack. Others can just flat out write. Eeh. I am not overly creative, but occasionally I come up with a bit of wit. I write this mostly for me. I sometimes pander to the masses, but that pandering is for me too. Sometimes its nice to feel loved, even if that love comes in the form of bad nutrition advice from the large muscley one.

And then there's the story of how and why I started this. I have told this story before, but I'll tell it again. This guy and this other guy tell me that if I go to this website and register and then email this guy that I can play in this cool poker tournament at the Aladdin. Okay. I'll do it. Now 300 + posts later I am still here blogging at work. Assholes.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Moneymaker in STL

See this post by STL Radio host and (poker) blogger Paul Harris. He played against Moneymaker and links up a bunch of his poker related content including audio of interviews with Jesus, Raymer, Sexton and others.

Hey Foureyes

Yeah you, I'm talking to you geek. How many dusty old college textbooks do you have stuffed away in the attic or in your office putting on an aura of pseudo-importance? How many times have you tried to part with said books but can't relinquesh them due to 1.) The huge investement they represent, 2.) The money it will take to dispose of them 3.) A sense that they will end up clogging a landfill 4.) Some notion that you'll actually read them and learn all the stuff you copied in college?

Here is you chance. Go here, get a shipping lable and donate them.

Make the world a little better today. Clean out your attic and donate a book.

But please hang on to that copy of Supersystem. You need it.

Peep Death

Tired of playing a peep and getting your brains bashed in by some slack jawed mouth breather without the ablity to lay down 2nd pair bottom kicker? I bring you a retreat. A place you can go to ease your frustrations.

I give you BUNNYOCALYPSE.

Maigrey pointed out this link.


Have fun.

While Mom's away, the boys will play

The wife was in Vegas all weekend. I got to blow my 3 tokens on Full Tilt and have some fun with the boy. My best finish was 102 out of @940 in the 18K on Satuday. Not bad, especially since I went out on a bad beat. AT outflopped my AJ. No 3 outer for me. Winning that pot would have vaulted me to well above average. I am very happy with the way I played that tourney. The guy that busted me also busted Mr. Speaker when Speak's QQ ran into his AA.

They way I went out was pretty interesting, to me anyway. The hand before I was in the BB with KTo. The badguy is on the button with a large stack, about 4x mine. I have an M of about 5. It folds to the button and he pops it up in a standard manner. SB folds and I move all in. He insta-folds. Next hand I have AJs in the SB. It folds to the bad guy in the cut off and he pops it again. Button folds and I push. He thinks and calls. AT vs my AJ. I'll take that matchup every day. Now, I know he has to stand his ground at somepoint, but he called off 25%-30% of his chips with AT. I don't think I can do it. But maybe he thought I was abusing him because he had shown that he could lay it down. I dunno.

I stuck it out to play the 8K and didn't fair as well. I was too tired and donked too much.

Sunday was a fun day. The boy and I played in puddles and dirt hills. He went with me to kickball and witnessed dad go 1-3 with a crushing solo homerun. Yes I am big and fat and there is no fence. So I have to kick the ball very, very far to make it all the way around the bases. And yes I am a 33 year old father of 1 that plays kickball, two games every Sunday. But these guys play too.