Tuesday, February 28, 2006
1.) They tried to deliver the package on Friday but no one was home. So they left a hang tag on the door that said they would attempt redelivery on Monday in the P.M. and I could be at home or sign the tag and have my computer left on the porch. Or I could turn the hang tag over and go to the address listed on the back and retrieve my computer myself.
2.) There was no address on the back of the hang tag, which pissed me off. But I assumed that was a one time oversite and there would be an address on the back of the next hang tag due to arrive Monday afternoon. So I said "let them waste their time and try to get it to me again on Monday."
3.) They attempted delivery on Monday. In the A.M. not in the P.M. as stated on the hang tag. Glad I didn't come home to wait on my package.
4.) The address was again missing from the back of the hang tag.
5.) I broke down and called the toll free customer service number. I was asked to enter my zip code and was connected to the automated voice at the local office. That voice asked me to leave a message including my airbill number and instructions.
6.) The voice mail box was full. I tried to get an operator but was unsuccessful. That
7.) I googled the local office and called directly. The phone rang and rang and rang and no one answered.
I may never get my computer back.
Monday, February 27, 2006
"the Miracle Balls are helping a lot....."
Mike Judge just shit himself from laughing so hard.
That should be enough for you, now go back to Wil's site and donate some money.
OR try one of these:
American Cancer Society
Bad Beat on Cancer
or for those of you wanting a different cause,
The American Heart Association.
Heart disease is the #1 killer of women.
Keep the ladies healthy and happy.
1.) My boss is back from maternity leave. She had been gone since Thanksgiving. I think this is why I have been a pain in the ass since last Wednesday.
2.) I finally got plates for the truck. Now I realize that the plates for my car expire this month so I have to do it all over again. The hurdles of getting a car titled or registered in the state of
3.) I spent all weekend infirmed with a cold. I still have the cold but most of the lethargy and body aches went away just in time to wake up and go to work this morning.
4.) The Mac broke and I took it to get serviced. The MAC store ships it to parts unknown where it is repaired and overnighted back (thanks AppleCare). However, instead of using UPS or FEDEX where I have a pre-release drop it on the front step they sent it DHL. DHL? Fuck. So the DHL hang tag is on the door Friday when I get home and it says I can pick it up at the local facility until 8:00 pm whose address is on the back of the tag. I turn the tag over and the spot where the driver was supposed to put the address is blank. Fuck them. I didn't fill out the drop form. They will try to deliver it again today and won't be able to because I am not home. Screw me out of a weekend without OS X you bitches and I'll make you run all the way down to the southside to try in vain to deliver my package again. I guess I'll pick it up tonight or tomorrow myself. just like would have on Friday if they had left the address.
5.) The house we wanted sold and closed. But it tortures me daily as it still pops up on my internet searches. Now we are looking at all of these other places that are either overpriced or on the edge of our range. I think we might just quit looking for a while. We don't need a new house until we have another kid so I have at least 12-14 months there. Besides, the housing market is going to hell anyway. I am seeing losses of equity and an overall decrease in prices. Buying now may well be buying at the top of the market, not a good idea. Besides, one 1/4 % tick in the interest rates and we won't be able to afford anything bigger than we have now.
6.) If we do buy a new house that means I will have to do all the nit-picky maintenance things that I have been putting off. That shoots about 3 weekends in the ass. Nothing like paint, plaster and cleaning the garage for happy times.
7.) Dealing with vendors from India. Anyone who says that outsourcing will be the death of the American economy hasn't actually outsourced anything.
8.) Not mine persay, but its still sucks. A very good friend of the wife has been trying to adopt two boys from rural Illinois. The mother and her drug addict boyfriend that live in a trailer with no heat and who won't travel to visit the boys and make it clear that they don't want them (through actions and words) refuse to give up parental rights. The judge in the case "will be damned" if he's going to let some upstate attorney and the DCFS come to his realm of the world and tell him what to do, he's planning to give the boys back to their mother (who they've seen 3 times in 2 years, her choice) this week. The foster parents have mortal fear for these children if they are returned to their birthmother. MORTAL fear. They think the boyfriend will follow through on his threats and actually kill the kid. Or just do it when he is high, you know high from shooting the money for the heating bill. Who needs heat during this mild Illinois winter anyway? When these boys are abused and in the hospital their blood is on the judges hands. When the boys survive but end up as felons by the age of 16, the blood of their victims is on his hands. Donating a sperm and/or an egg does not make you a parent, much less a fit parent. We place far to great a value on blood relations in this country. We are far too slow to terminate parental rights. My only solus is knowing that Illinois elects its judges. So campaining against this sonofabitch will be a bittersweet revenge. You know, the autopsy/crime scene photos of children that he sentenced to death on a plackard are pretty grim, but will likely mean he won't get re-elected.
Honestly I don't know all of the facts of the case and I am getting my information 3rd hand. But the foster parents are scared that for the boys lives if they are returned. And things like this get me charged up. So excuse the hyperbole.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Grob is electric.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
- Working for a living
- house hunting
- getting a cold
- sending your kid to a germ factory everyday having him come home with a cold and knowing that you will have it in 24-36 hours.
- tall and grande drinks from starbucks
- windows '98
- getting a car titled in the state of missouri
Things that don't suck:
- short drinks from starbucks
- free drinks at starbucks
- homegame poker
- homegame poker with boobs
- crushing the BBJ tables on party and getting berated for "raising all the time" on a BBJ table
- having a great spouse
- my kid (your kid might suck, but mine is teh kewl)
- Brokeback Poker
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
I do my best to lambast someone and I get a pittance in return. I purposely maky typos and no one says a word. I guess its clear, not only did I get bored with you, you're bored with me.
Treading water online is getting to be a bore as well. I play the BBJ tables on Party. w00t. I crushered a fish with 2nd pair cause he bet AK to the river like it was the nuts. Hey buddy, checking the call any/raise any buttons doesn't scare me. It might slow me down, but my set is gold. Gold Jerry, GOLD!
Playing NL is only slightly more entertaining. But its just that much easier to be a rock than in limit. The fish don't pay attention to my VP$IP so when I wait and catch a monster - cha ching.
Otis amuses me. He make me laugh. I see how he crushes it and then relays the
Pauly is Pauly. If I ever hit the Powerball I'm going to hire him to live blog my life. Pauly in the Lou. He'd last about 2 weeks. "The last five Dads Chilly took a piss next too at the zoo..." ; "The last five guys Chilly told to fuck off....." ; "The last five times I tried to play Trey and Chilly smacked the back of my head..." Here is the blog he can use, now or when I hire him.
I now have 5 blogs and 2 urls that point to this blog. I think I have a disease.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Yep, someone linked me to a Wiki entry about CPS.
Thats funny enough on its own. My post is night of sweating Phil Gordon while he played an 8K or 16K on Full Tilt.
Here is the link to my blog:
I think it is clear that he is NOT refering to CPS in his response. He is talking about the next gig that he is under contract for, not the next installment of CPS. Here is a copy of the referenced text:
Is it wrong that I didn't fix it 'cause I think its funny? (and I'm a link whore).
Phil's next gig.
FT4OLSC (Observer): Are you hosting anything new now that you are not doing CPS?
Phil Gordon: maybe FT4
DEALERMIKE (Observer): see that is so classy phil...
Phil Gordon: we'll see
DWMREP (Observer): does anyone know how tyo get to the graveyard in zelda?
Phil Gordon: I'm under contract but the show may not go
Is it wrong that I didn't fix it 'cause I think its funny? (and I'm a link whore). I am sure the Wiki police will swoop in and fix this up as soon as they read this, but funny while it lasts.
Friday, February 17, 2006
THE CAST and CREW
I want to help people in a jam. I want to further the life experience of my fellow PB'ers. So, who are the lucky few of you out there that I have decided to help?
Joe Speaker - You are one of my favorite writers. You and Tom Clancey. Don't let the fact that I enjoy hackneyed nuevou war thrillers keep you from thinking this is anything but a complement.
Change100 - You must be good peeps 'cause Pauly thinks you're the shit. Of course Pauly thinks any lady with a one-hitter and check raise is the shit. But you are apparently cool too. If I ever decide to start smoking, I'll call you for advice.
Wil - You are a solid poker player with the worst run of luck I have seen in a while. You gave up a sweet gig due to your poker habit. This is poker's Karmic payback.
Shane - You seem to be a nice guy. You are getting a free ride because this calls for two stars so I need you to help Wil, Joe and Change. And no, Cameron Diaz can't co- star in this movie.
Joe writes it. Change does her thing, helping Joe and I guess I'll let her be a Co-producer or something like that. Wil and Shane star in it.
"All-in is a Force of Nature"
A raw, powerful story of two young men, a child actor looking to raise his art to the next level and a guy from Virginia looking to make his mark on the world, who meet in the summer of 2003 playing poker in the smoke filled card rooms of L.A. There a shared love for old movies, Judy Garland and a weak tight style of play helps form an unorthodox yet life-long bond--by turns ecstatic, bitter and conflicted.
An epic love story set against the dank soullessness of Commerce and Bicycle Casinos, Brokeback Poker tells the story of two young men who meet in the summer of 2003, and unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, one whose complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
The punches to the leg continue. My dad has some sort of growth on his elbow, two of them actually. He went to see a surgeon today. The surgeon bowed out and referred him to someone else. But first he needs a CT scan or an MRI or both. So its moved beyond the simple in and out to haunting a little place in the back of your mind. That "what if"devil is a sonofabitch. Better than the "oh you have to be fucking kidding me" devil, but still a little bastard.
Hertz doughnut, again. The M-I-L had an abnormal mamogram. Probably a normal abnormal, but once again, "what if" is going to be there for a while.
My general attitude in life is "shit happens" just like Forest said. I knew we weren't getting the house as we put in the offer. I told my wife and our agent that we weren't getting it. I don't believe in that negative energy crapola. I just had a feeling. I was actually more upset than I thought I would be when the call came in. But what am I going to do. I have no power in the the situation.
My wife was the one who spoke to my dad tonight. As I listened to half the conversation and took care of the boy my first thoughts were "I wish he were here" Our hospitals are better and I can (or the wife can) get that real information that people not in the know never seem to get.
Finding out about an abnormal mamogram in your wife's mother is a becoming more of yell instead littler whisper. As the night wears on thoughts such as heredity creep in. Reality is a bit of a bitch sometimes.
All in all this was a shitty way to spend an evening, other than the $6 I pulled out of a $10 NL table on FTP. Would have been more but I had to wait for someone out in LA to run to PetSmart and buy a fresh batch of hamsters. Maybe the next upgrade will be to gerbils. Seriously I love FTP, but I will love it even more when its not locking up.
I made a pot roast in the crock pot today. I basically had to battle the kid for my fair share. He made it clear that dad makes a fine pot roast (amber bock and ginger beer are the secret ingredients) and that mom makes a great avocado/banana puree too.
I just watched the latest High Stakes Poker via TIVO. Talk about a junk kicking. Barry G. getting out flopped to get his AA cracked by KK for something like $180k. Talk about your uptown problems.
Monday, February 13, 2006
First there were the two people who actually requested that I write a “Fuck XXXXX” post about them. Well I might get to that, but you have to be an engaging persona (you are) and I have to know that you have the tough hide that can take a beating. (you do). Finally you need to do something that I can lampoon. (you might have, but Serendipity hasn’t visited me yet) So you are on hold. I will get to it, stop being so needy. And if you comment here and out yourself its over.
I am going to have a co-author for the first time this week. Dimebag is going to co author a post with me. Mostly so that when its up and the nerd police visit I an deflect as much or as little blame as I want. Oh yeah!
One thing that made me mad but I won’t write a full post about, just give them a blurb here.
Stem cells. 60 Minutes did a great piece yesterday about Stem Cells and destruction of life. The gist of it is this: Embryos from which Stems Cells come will either be used to make a baby, destroyed via dumping in a biohazard bag, put into storage or used for medical research.
-Storage is like smoking 2 packs a day for 20 years, a slow path to destruction
-Getting dumped in a bio hazard bag is like ratting out Tony to the feds
-Getting destroyed to help find a cure for horrific disease is still destroyed, but a least for a cause.
60M also made this point very clear – paraphrasing-: “The bible beaters don’t care if the sacred cells die as long as they don’t die for research. Everyone involved in the stem cell research debate knows that the cells that get barred from research are thrown into a bag with BG’s colon and dumped off the coast of New Jersey.”
Except one whack job that waned funerals for the 400,000 embryos currently in storage in the U.S. today. That’s right.
A blob of cells is not a baby nor is it a fetus. I swear to gawd this is the bible beaters argument: “You and I were once exactly the same blob of cells. Therefore these cell are sacred human life.”
By that logic I should go find the '65 Impala SS convertible that my dad drove in high school. All of my brothers and sisters are crusted to the back seat. I really should get a spatula and give them a proper burial.
I am soooooo sorry that I ever voted republican using the argument that I am a Libertarian and the Repub’s fiscal agenda more closely matched my own.
This story was coupled with the heart warming tale of Iraqi War Vets who have put their lives back on track after having their arms, legs and brains blown off. I especially liked the photos of the girl in the HUMVEE with no doors (much less armor) taken shortly before a roadside bomb amputated her left leg.
Too bad we don’t have open stem cell research. Maybe scientists could grow her a new one.
I did vote for Clinton, once, the first time. Does that help? I am going to hell for voting for Bush. Or, in some sick twist of fate someone I love will die from a disease that stem cell research cures, four years too late.
Oh yeah, Dick Cheney shot someone in the face and then didn't make a press release about it for 24 hours using the excuse that he thought the ranch owner would issue a press release. I know the last time that I had a leader of the free world over to my house and he shot someone in the face the first thing I thought was "Fuck! Now I need to get a PR rep to get a press release out."
Sorry, I got pissed and wrote more than I thought I would. I hope CJ reads this so his head explodes.
Now, truly independent,
P.S. Oooh. Oooh. Oooh! I just thought of a second co-author. This is going to be a good week.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Tips for when the love of your life turns super cunt.
If its over its over. If Love is War then Divorce is a Nuclear Confrontation.
Don't pull punches. Its over. Fuck her and the beret wearing prick she rode out on.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Ohhh look at me! I play 30/60 Stud and Omaha. I can write in complete sentences!
Over here!! Hey you! Look Over HERE!!
Seriously, don't sugar coat it for us, lol. If you think we suck at least comment or email us and tell us, lol. Or just write a post and link teh suck, lol.
Glad you're feeling better. We missed the fire.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Don't you know there are people starving. (and not just his whiney pizza craving ass either) Real people in need of food without the means to obtain it. WHO HAVE PERFECTLY HEALTHY COLONS TO DIGEST IT! In fact I just finished my lunch (chicken fingers and grilled veggies with a black cherry vanilla diet coke) a whole 1.75 hours ago. I could go for a nosh myself. Maybe a Snickers bar and an ice tea. mmmmm Snickers, or a Reece's (peanut butter cup, not monkey).
He's really hurting for cash though. I can tell by the way he cut back on his discretionary spending. And how he stopped playing the horses. What was that BG? huh? Oh that's right you said you had it covered.
Send me your $20 people. If you scroll down you will see I need to pay for the gas that goes into my new truck(not to mention the insurance), pay off my credit card full of new watches, start a college fund, put a down payment on a house and pad my bankroll. Fuck $20, send me $100. At least I'm not some defective colon hole with a jagoff attached.
To show that I am not a heartless bastard I did some research to see if I could help poor little BG with his ass problem. I just finished reading an article about his disease. It says that 92.7% of cases are due to "...acidic semen attacking the mucus membrane in the colon allowing bacteria to thrive and breakdown the colon tissue..." This article also contained the word fistula. I am sure that was part of the cause too. Like I ever had a doubt.
If BG wants my $20 he'll do what any self respecting disease carrying degenerate would do, he'll challenge me to a heads up poker match, or he'll drag his shitbag to St. Louis and collect it in the form of a $20 bar tab. And no I will not buy you a bottle of wine you fucking fairy.
Get Well Soon!
So Chilly, what the hell is going in my crazy life?
Well Chilly hang on and I'll tell you.
I have bought three new watches in the last month. I don't know why, exactly, except that I got it in my mind that I was tired of my old watch (a graduation present from my parents) and that I had watch envy. Not anymore. I bought two dive watches and a dress(ier) watch. I guess its a Chilly sized midlife crisis. Im 33 been married for (pause to do math, really I have to do the math) 8.5 years and had the same watch the whole time. All three are kinetic drive Seikos, just like the first watch that I was
Faithful readers may remember that 2005 was a bad year for the wife in terms of loss. She lost three grandparents in 2005. Especially hard was the loss of her maternal grandmother. Through all of that we inherited a truck. Its pretty fricken big, and white with chrome wheels. I feel small when I climb inside. I haven't got plates for it yet, but I am thinking of getting some garish or boorish vanity plates. Something that conveys "This is a big fricken truck you societal peon, get out of the way or I will run you over." In seven or less letters/numbers. I should add that there are rumors of calling me Uncle Jesse for driving a white Ford Truck. Anyone who ever might want to borrow said truck should not call me Uncle Jesse.
He is 13.5 months. I can already tell that he is going to be smarter than me. Thats mostly his mothers influence. Seeing him do the littlest things amazes me. For instance yesterday I was packing a bag for him before we left the house. He saw me carrying a bag of animal crackers. He pointed and conveyed "Give me those animal crackers! RIGHT NOW!" I proceeded to ignore his request, put the animal crackers in the bag and offer him the already open Goldfish crackers. Yeah right. He called bullshit on the goldfish and demanded the animal crackers. All I could do was laugh and open the bag.
Lets just say that I worked out a few kinks, stopped playing while tired and am currently on top of my game. I like playing ring limit games on Party, 6 handed sit and goes on Full Tilt and WWdN games on Pokerstars. I am trying to work out a poker time budget so that I can get a few MTT's in a month and spend the damn MPS token(s).
We are looking for a new house. The words "slow down, increased supply of exisitng homes and higher interest rates" are creeping into the media. Check out page one of Section D in todays WSJ if you care to get more information. Also check out zillow.com if you own a house or are looking for a house. We found the perfect house. We love it. Its underpriced. Its about $100K more than we want to spend. We have another we like that is priced $25k less but over priced by about $75K. I must be going somewhere in this world if I am actually considering business transactions with $100K swings. Unless there is a serious turn around in the market, prices aren't just going to have a "decreased rate of increase" they are going to fall from previous levels. We have looked at something like 40 houses and about 5 of them have sold, and all of those after being priced "under market" or having sharp price decreases. I think a wait and see attitude is best, especially since we're not in a hurry. Unless I can work a real deal for our first or second choice.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
I would like to add that my suited connectors and drawing hand played well last night. Including flopping broadway with QcJc against AK (2 pair) and getting called a fish.
1.) AA - Lost to Ac5c who turned nut flush
2.) AA - Lost to 6d5d who flopped 2 pair
3.) AA - Lost....Flopped a set, river put 4th flush card (not my suit) on the board nut flush was beat by straight flush 6s9s played out of the big blind.
WWdN Dr. Pauly is 'da bomb tourney:
I was hanging around par with about 40-45 left then the wheels came off......
4.) Not a bad beat per se, but I ran into flopped Quad Aces that get slow played and value bet to perfection. I made just enough of a hand and he played weak enough that I thought his value bet on the river was a stab.....
5.) Two hands later... KK on the button and the short stack UTG moves in. I re-raise to isolate and he flips the cooler: AA
6.) Three hands after that I get AA make a standard raise and steal the effing blinds.
7.) Three hands after that I get AdKh UTG and raise, I get it all in preflop against QJ. I flop and A and he turns a J and rivers a Q. Runner freaking Runner.
8.) Next hand I get my short stack A9 all in against A4 and chop the pot
9.) Next (last) hand I get my short stack Q2 all in vs. 9T. Now I was in the SB with 702 behind Ts9s limped so there was 375 in the pot already. A shove has a decent chance at taking it right there and I end up ahead about 54%-46% when he calls. I flop a queen and he of course goes runner runner for a flush.
The best thing is that after all of that I kicked and screamed for about a minute. Then I laughed. I am still laughing because its so freaking ridiculous.
At least a little girl didn't crack my AA with Quad Q's.
I put together this one for Poker Blogs.
I think I'll do one for just Strategy Blogs too.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Alas, I along with 702 (thats SEVEN HUNDRED AND TWO) of my blogging or email address having bretheren were hit again today. Same PR firm, same company, Harrahs. Now those that know me know that I ususaly play at Harrahs here in STL. So you are thinking that maybe I dropped my email on them and deserve the spam. Nope. They scraped my email off of this blog and used it to spammy me. Thanks Harrahs, you corpororate beetches. Like you don't bend me over enough with your $4 rakes and costly drinks.
Back to the 702. For those who didn't get the email Nicole Khoury <firstname.lastname@example.org> sent this morning, she included all of us in the cc line instead of the bcc line, so my email got shared with a whole other potential (less likely but it only takes one) spamming potentials. I scanned the list and saw several popular bloggers on there. How I ever got on the same level as Dr.Pauly and Poker Prof I'll never know. I guess the standard are low. Blog/poker content/email/qualified.
I'm too busy to go on a diatribe like I did the last time, even though I am more pissed this time. Mostly that I got spammed and she sent my email to 701 other people. Go read what I had to say last time and multiply it by 4. Then contact Nicole and take her up on her offer:
Hello! Please see the latest WSOP news below. Please contact us if you have any questions or would like more information or an interview.
Harrah's Entertainment, Inc.
Dan Foley, 702-407-6370 (Investors)
Alberto Lopez, 702-407-6344 (Media - General)
TBC Public Relations
Dave Curley, 410-986-1305 (Media - WSOP)