Wednesday, November 30, 2005
1.) Provide a bounty for yourself. Whoever eliminates you from the tournament gets your bounty (duh). I gave a stack of slapper cards and a patch from the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology 2005 Conference to the guy who busted me in June. This is a solid tradition and it makes your having to go to the bar or the 2-4 table all that more of an easy transition.
2.) Provide a bounty on your favorite/most despised bloggers. For instance this year I will be providing a bounty for the head of G-Rob. I haven't decided what it will be yet. Maybe a coupon to SuperCuts or a case of hair gel. It will have a distinct G-Rob theme.
3.) Soco and CarBombs. Learn to love them.
4.) Storming the Castle. We invade the Excalibur poker room at a time other than the tourny and take over all the 2-6 spread limit games (play the 1-3 for full fish effect). Watch the touristas go on major tilt when their set of Q's is cracked by the hammer. TooloftheMan and Dimebag can attest that I thought I was going to get punched last year. Dude got so pissed that I wouldn't lay down TP to his bluff that he chewed out the floorman and called collusion on us. Just because Tool came over from his table to tell me the guy was on tilt and a hothead. Also, slowplay your AA so you can spin the wheel or rake in a huge pot. Krispy Kreme onsite.
5.) MGM is by far my favorite card room due to it range of stakes, atmosphere and number of tourista fish. The bloggers will invade for a mixed game, but don't despair if you don't play Razz, crazy pineapple, Stud or Omaha. G-Rob will be donating at the 2-4 table too. Just show up in your finest brown shirt. The wait staff rocks the dealers are good, chip runners etc. Great place to booze and toss cards around. You'll find me there quite a bit. You can drop the f-bomb but it will cost you a buck.
6.) Sleep. Don't do it. You will miss something exciting.
7.) The Friday tourney at the Alladin. I played in June. A bunch of people are thinking of playing this year. The structure is the same crapshoot as the WPBT Alladin Classic. Play at your own risk. I plan to save my buy-in for ring games.
8.) Food. I like to eat steak and prime rib. Rare to medium rare. Horseradish and beer. Salad with blue cheese.
9.) 4 AM Pai Gow. Aiiiii-YA!
10.) False identities. In June I was a gynecologist. This time I'm thinking......Sewage Containment Consultant. Hog lots, municipal sewage systems etc. Nothing stops a conversation quite like answering "what doyado?" with "I teach people how to keep poop out of drinking water" or "I manage pig shit"
Monday, November 28, 2005
Rini - Scuba makes your johnson shrink. Windows is the best OS ever. Doom switch. Suck out on him and pull out the TFH for him to wear.
Wil Wheaton — Constantly quote SBM, Tell him how his performance in the Last Starfighter was only surpassed by the chops he displayed in Star Trek: Nemisis.
AlCan’tHang - Tip waitress $20 have her bring him vodka lemonades instead of soco.
Big Mike- Replace soco with kaluha
Steve- Assume that since he's a FoA (friend of Al) that getting his booze order screwed up will suffice.
April H. (Feeding the Addiction)-Too easy, just forget which April is which. Talk about the other one while your actually talking to her. ie, "I don't get that whole San Jose thing, I think the Sharks suck.
April (This is not a poker blog)-Too easy, just forget which April is which. Talk about the other one while your actually talking to her. ie, "I don't get that whole Texas thing, I think texas sucks."
BadBlood-keep asking him when he's finally going to step up and piss in a cup. Challenge him to a left handed arm wrestling match. Cough "pussy" everytime he folds.
BG-All OJ all the time. Order him a Oddjack special, a screwdriver in an empty glass.
Biggestron- MRN (more research needed)
Brian (MattahFahtu) - MRN
Chris (Chicks Dig Poker Geeks)- You really need instructions here? When he shows down a hand ask him if its the nuts.
CJ (Up for Anything)-I think he might be untiltable.
Columbo (Poker Wannabe) -MRN
Daddy (SnailTrax)-Pay the cocktail waitress to put some clothes on, or only let him get served by a dude.
David M- A STL boy, don't worry he self tilts soon enough.
Drizz (Nickle and Dimes)-Pick a subject, Baseball pitchers are scuzzes, hockey is dumb, volleyball is gay.
Asphnxma (FTrain) -
GRob-Ask him what its like to be lifetime stuck to Chilly
Geek and Proud-MRN
Grubby-Slots are way gay, fast food sucks (weak, hopefully he'll just get drunk)
The Human Head - Ask him how much Goodyear pays for the sponsorship deal.
HDouble - Tightends are the true "catchers" on any football team.
Mrs. HDouble - Wives are off limits.
Joaquin The Rooster - Keep calling him "the Pigeon."
Joe Speaker (The Obituarium) - Pay dudes to wander through the room and hit on him.
John V.(Slayre’s Poker Quest)-MRN
Josh (Armchair Fisherman)-MRN
Martin (JMC) - Will be drunk by third level, not too worry.
Mike M - MRN
Mike V (Life, The Universe, Poker) - MRN
Mr. Subliminal - Everytime he drags a pot ask him how many pencils that could buy in real money.
Obie - MRN
on_thg (Res Ipsa Poker) - Well if the last several MTT's are a bellweather he'll be sitting to my right stealing all my chips. I plan to plant some "substances" on him and call the fuzz.
Otis - Ask him when he thinks this blogging thing will work out. Pressure him about a real job.
Little Willie - Tell him you watch ER and that "doctorin' don't look too hard", ask him how many rectals he gave last week then ask him how many were "courtesy".
Pauly (Tao of Poker) - Fish sucks and Trey is a corporate sell out. That and so and so just busted, I heard that have a bag of....
Performify - MRN
PlatKat (and Gus)-MRN
Rick W of Full Tilt fame - Of Full Tilt fame, isn't that like "of Wichita, KS fame?"
Russ Fox - MRN
Shane Nickerson (Nickerblog)-Tell him you have the REAL photos of him and Cameron Diaz.
Shelly (HellaHoldem)-Keep asking her which April she is. Go Texas.
Spaceman (Catching the Antichrist)-Ask him what Regis is like. Insist that Millionare is rigged.
StB (Beer City Poker)-MRN
Travis (tp’s table talk)-MRN
TeamScottSmith - Ask him where the team is? G-Vegas sucks and all that.
Joanne (A Chick and a Chair) - Just pray shes not at your table
Pokeramarama (Chad) - Minnesota jokes are too easy for a kid from Iowa.
Iggy -Guinness and dwarves. Ask him "who puts baby in a corner." Refuse to drink with him. Enforce no smoking rules/if he quit offer him some cigs.
Maudie - Not gonna try.
Change100 (PotCommitted) - Distribute anti pot literature.
As you can tell I have a lot of work to do between now and the tourney. Remember the Tourney is Sunday December 11th at 9 am at the Excalibur. Don't miss it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
My Holiday weekend plans include 3 Turkey day dinners. 2 will involve turkey and 1 will be prime rib. Hellllooo, fat kid on a diet over here.
In addition since the wife, the kid and I will be on an auto tour of the middle west visiting relatives in 2 states (crossing the mississippi river twice, the missouri river once) AND since my parents don't have an internet connection and since I gave up my dial-up for DSL I doubt I'll be playing any poker past tonight. So what am I to do? Well, I have 4, yes 4 books to read. All poker books. No, I can't tell you which ones, because then I lose part of the advantage of reading the books. :) In addition I will be reading this blog ad naseum. I have been poking around here for a while and its fantastic. Shout out to Iggy for pointing me to it.
My only real shot for poker this weekend is the card room in Des Moines. That would mean that somehow I ditch the family, the wife the kid the mom the dad the aunt the uncle etc. and go play poker. I don't think I can get away with it, but is there any doubt that this friday will be the juiciest games of the year? As Wil would say Ohh Emm Efff Gee. There will be so many fish there.
I really need a break from playing anyway. I feel my game getting stale. I need an infusion of ideas and creativity. How creative can you get at 1-2 and 2-4 though? Well I need something. I think I need to wade back into the NL SNG's and sprinkle in a few MTT's to keep my joints lubricated. The constant folding of crap and getting AA or KK cracked at the low limits is crushing my ego. Sidenote: I had KK hold for me last night when 6 people saw the flop for my raise! [bright light shines through dark clouds and illumniates hero]
In addition I am finally going to start updating this. I thought initially that I would try to weave my grandfather's tales into a great story. It is a great story, I am just not a great writer, nor am I patient enough at this point. So I'll instead start with baby steps. I have a book/journal that my granfather completed (found here) and I have a bunch of letters he wrote me. I plan to start the process by transcribing these writings. In addtion I am making drafts and notes of other stories he told me for intergration into the overall story.
Is that enough crap to do for one weekend?
Oh yeah, and the cat has to stay at the vet due to her health. Here are the instructions for taking care of my cat for the weekend, guess who wrote this, me or the doctor.
Cleo is due for a checkup, weight and labs for her renal failure. Her 3rd week of epogen is this week. If able to do while she is there, it would be great, if not we can bring her in again next week. She acts like she feels a lot better. We struggle to get her to eat enough, but otherwise she seems good.
Cleo is shy, but warms up fast
Boarding care 11/23-11/28
Epogen 0.25ml SC 3x/week
-Thurs/Sat or Friday/Sunday is fine (Friday/Monday at home would be fine too)
-100 mL daily or 150mL every other day
-Had 150mL on Tuesday
Pepcid 5mg daily (usually crushed & mixed in antibiotic)
-Administer however you want
Baytril 1ml PO (usually with crushed pepcid)
-She hates this & slobbers everywhere after
-Last dose Tuesday bedtime
-Usually do crushed pills in water…probably better for you guys to do Felovite
(she’ll make less of a mess in her cage)
Food is Modified diet canned or sometimes A/D- she struggles with this & considers the food stale after 5 minutes. Needs frequent encouragement to eat. Attempt 2/3 can per day (usually administered in 5 servings by us, do what you can—appetite is poor)
But she is soooo cute!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Here is a visual recap of my tourney followed by some entertaining chat transcripts.
Hand #1 Da' Hamma! Weeeee!
Hand #2 Da' Jack Hamma'!
Ohhh, please sir may I have another
Awe, back to this again?
Now here is some variety, we're combining the two now!!
Ha! Again the next hand!
Ooooohhhhh! THe most powerful Hammer/Jack Hammer Combo!
So obviously I busted before the first break. But not before the software locked up while I was in the blinds. Great, not only am I card dead I can't even see my blinds. Grrr!
I went over to sweat G-Rob who immediatly got called out for collusion.
GRob: closing other table now
randolph3383: does grob and steeler know each other?
randolph3383: i think they do
GRob: got me
randolph3383: yep i did
randolph3383: u reraise and then fold
MANA2678: he says u and steeler r lovers
GRob: we are
ablamb: ahhh man
GRob: totally busted
randolph3383: it wasnt that much more
MANA2678: cool i want in
MANA2678: nice 1 rob n steeler
Steeler1: hehe, teamwork, it makes us the best we can be
Rob: we try
MANA2678: sho nuff
Steeler1: I do appreciate this chip sharing thing we've got going on
Dealer: GRob shows [6h Js]
Dealer: arangaheng shows [2h 2c]
Dealer: GRob shows two pair, Sixes and Threes
Dealer: arangaheng shows a full house, Twos full of Threes
Dealer: arangaheng wins the pot (2,130) with a full house, Twos full of Threes
Good43 (Observer): I busted
GRob: i suck
Good43 (Oserver): so we can't have that plan where I dump all my chips to you work anymore
GRob: but i have a chop deal with the guy to my left
Good43 (Observer): sorry
GRob: i thought it was the other way around
arangaheng: thats always a good thing
Dealer: subversion x wins the pot (850)
Dealer: Hand #302605091
Steeler1: chop? I thought it was 70/30
GRob: just give me my money
Steeler1: deals off now pal
randolph3383: hey MANA
randolph3383: wheres all your chips?
MANA2678: your keeping them warm for me
MANA2678: dont go spending them
Dealer: GRob shows [Tc 8c]
Dealer: arangaheng shows [7d 7h]
Dealer: GRob shows Queen Ten high
Dealer: arangaheng shows three of a kind, Sevens
Dealer: arangaheng wins the pot (5,110) with three of a kind, Sevens
Dealer: Hand #302607790
MANA2678: damn G
Good43 (Observer): on a draw?
Steeler1: you should really stop running into sets
Randolph3383: youll be out before break
MANA2678: steeler will cut you off
MANA2678: would make your experience easier if i did
MANA2678: you fear me
DSRS: OESD ?
Here's where a guy shows his true "colors"
randolph3383: Hey MANA you remind me of a poker player on T.V.
randolph3383: Tiffany Williamson
MANA2678: you remind me of one of my employees
MANA2678: he is black 2
GRob: finally a racial insult
GRob: wasn't sure when we'd get to that
randolph3383: not racial
randolph3383: just think she is a sad poor poker player
MANA2678: no just my black employees gimme more lip, they want cash but not work for it
randolph3383: and thats what mana reminds me of
Good43 (Observer): wow, stereotypes too!!
........ a bit later.......
GRob: see? takes so little to trigger xenophobia too
ablamb: I'm not afraid of xenos
Now a word from our poker experts:
MANA2678: come on randolph get me out
MANA2678: woo hoo break i made it
randolph3383: dude it was so obvious u had a good hand there
randolph3383: u were first to act and limped in
randolph3383: such an amatuer
MANA2678: really what did i have
randolph3383: Ak or AJ
MANA2678: wow you can see my cards
MANA2678: i had 2's
Finally I wrap up the night by sweating Perry Friedman. He doesn't take bad beats well, ICYWW. Let me set it up a bit. They got it all in on the flop Perry's 99 was way out in front with the caller having no pair, no draw, just 2 overs.
Dealer: Perry Friedman shows [9d 9s]
poker_dude25: same hand i hope
Dealer: poker_dude25 shows [Kc Ah]
Perry Friedman: interesting call...
reezepower (Observer): lol
Dealer: Perry Friedman shows a pair of Nines
Dealer: poker_dude25 shows a pair of Kings
Dealer: poker_dude25 wins the pot ($139.70) with
a pair of Kings
reezepower (Observer): damn
Dealer: Hand #302740484
reezepower (Observer): how can u call that bet
bpreston14: folded AK myself
matt money11: 77
Perry Friedman: that was a pretty horrendous call
poker_dude25: yeah..put u on AK
Perry Friedman: no pair, just two overs? For an overbet of the pot?
Dealer: Perry Friedman wins the pot ($5)
Dealer: Hand #302740983
HD Night Train: people chase on this site all the time
Ponch 5: i guess the site isnt rigged
bpreston14: drawing to AK
poker_dude25: bad read
bpreston14: 4 outs
Perry Friedman: You think I move in with AK?
Perry Friedman: no pair and no draw?
reezepower (Observer): figured he had a flush draw
Perry Friedman: for $53 into a $35 pot?
Perry Friedman: And if you thought I had that, then you were hoping to tie?
reezepower (Observer): no doubt
Ponch 5: that was horrible
Perry Friedman: I love it when people say "I thought you had"
Perry Friedman: or "I put you on"
Perry Friedman: when what they really mean is "I HOPE you had..."
Ponch 5: lmao
HD Night Train: lol
poker_dude25: awrite i made a mistake
lucid01 (Observer): lol
Perry Friedman: looking for any justification to call
Perry Friedman: Just trying to help
Perry Friedman: not just you but others
Ponch 5: i would give his 53 dollars back
Dealer: HD Night Train shows four of a kind, Kings
Perry Friedman: nh
Perry Friedman: there's just no chance in heck that no pair, no draw could be good there
Monday, November 21, 2005
His real persona??
A shaved head, muscle-bound disco dancer.
Badblood, exactly which of these songs do you "Churn the Butter" to?
All of the WPBT weeps. Al is on a plane right now. He will be revoking your "Thrash Metal Expert" status. Prepare to turn in your Flotsam and your Jetsam, hand in your Megadeath and eliminate Exodus from your CD collection. Your mp3's will be wiped from your hard drive.
You will be allowed to keep your Brittany, Christina, NKONTB and Milli Vanilli.
Bull Semen indeed.
The wife and I have spent the majority of our freetime over the past 2.5 weeks looking for a new house. We haven't found "the" house or a great deal. We ave found about 4-5 that we like. We want to stay in the city. The houses are cheaper and we love the 100-120 year old structures. But many of the best ones we've seen seem to be over priced or have other drawbacks such as busy street, etc. We walked through a great renovation project yesterday and I spotted a code violation. Now I am a true amature. My rehab/contruction experience mostly consists of writing checks and watching This Old House. If I can spot a MAJOR STRUCURAL CODE VIOLATION, it makes you wonder what else is wrong and what corners have been cut.
I think my real estate agent thinks that I'm a pain in the ass. I don't like that house, that one is $15/ sq.ft overpriced, that kitchen is too small, that "rehabed" kitchen has exposed corners tat need moldings, the floor slants, the yard is too small, its too far from the park, The Accomac Ganster Crips live two blocks away (thanks to TooloftheMan for that one). Plus I use the city website and look up every house we view for previous transactions and current owners and such. I have got to be a nightmare. Oh well, she is dealing with it pretty well. I'd have told me to stuff it a while ago.
The good news is I am seeing prices fall. The 5 houses that we would consider have all had major price reductions. My assesment is that overall the house prices in STL have been slow to adjust to the rise in interest rates and there is a glut of houses on the market. The bad news, I have to sell my house in this environment too.
We are not in a hurry, so I think we'll wait and see. Get through the holidays and revisit the topic after the first of the year. If any of the five were to drop a lot we might make a move, otherwise we'll wait it out and maybe drop a resonable, yet low offer on our favorite. Now we just have to decide which is the favorite.
The Little Willy Invitational was not a shining momement in my poker play. I just don't play NL that much anymore and it showed. I made one great play. I raised in utg+1 with 33, one rocky caller and a 55x flop. I continuation bet the flop for about 1/2 pot. and turned a boat. The turn was the three, which could only help me so I made the same bet as I made on the flop, not 1/2 pot , but same number of chips plus like T25 (nothing much more). I like this play. I am feigning weakness with the size of my leadout turn bet. He called. A jack hit the river and with not much left I put it in. He called again. He rivered a J for 2 pair. I am sure no one at the table put me on 33.
I paid the Little Willy Bounty to Travis. I busted with K9c in the SB. Chip leader make standard raise and I pushed trying to pick up the pot. BB had AK and CL had 77. So I get called in two spots while trying to make a move. 7 on the flop knocked us both out and put eveyone else in the money.
Dial a shots were had by Otis and Dr. Pauly.
Many beers were had. Many, Many beers. salami cheese and sunflower seeds were on the menu.
At some point this weekend I played a blogger table for a while. I xferred TooloftheMan some credits so he could play too. Thanks to all of those who donated, drunk bastards. Hands of note here: Twice the blogfather pushed in an me with 66. Twice I had QQ. G-Rob moved in three or four hands in a row. In my BB I see the first A drop. I start chanting for another A. It hits and G-Rob pushes in again. I push in to isolate. AIIII-YAA! I smoked his Qx. Who woulda thought that tight play a blogger table could be fun?
A note to TooloftheMan, when I tell you the player on your left is very, very good, please listen. She doesn't get all her money in when she is behind, at least not to the likes of you.
Finally the table started to break and I was left with Iggy, Joanne and maybe one or two other bloggers that I don't remember. I felt sorry for those unsuspecting souls that kept revolving through our table. I started chating like a total donk. First I was talking about Cincinnati. Then I pulled up this page and started chating the qoutes that I attributed to my only friend in Cincinatti, Jack Dalton a bouncer at the Double Duece. Then Iggy posts a link to a blog that he attributes to himself with his favorite movies in his profile. Then we spend several minutes listing Patrick Swayze movies. I am sure that most people at the table turned off my chat.
Then I broke the guy that hit quads. This guy hits quads, k's or q's I don't remember. The very next hand I slow play a flopped set of 10's. He rivers a set of 4's and I take all his money. I chat "Quads would have been goot!" I am an ass.
Finally I had to throw in the towel. I could barely keep my eyes open.
Saturday started with swimming lessons. I gotta teach that kid to swim so that I can dunk him. Then we travelled to the farmhouse. The wifes grandmother died a couple of months ago, her grandfather followed 4 weeks later. So we went to help clean up the house. Not a lot left which is good, but still more than one days worth to go thru.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Step One: Isolate all sessions since the great 3/6 debacle of 2005 which ended 11/03/2005 .
Since I dropped back from 3/6 to 2/4 (I also played some sessions of 50/1 and 1/2 with the STL Squad) I am up 90. 19. That is much better than I would have guessed. I guess I am just selectivly remembering all the junk kickings.
Step Two: So now I look at what hands have cost me money. Am I playing poorly? Totals include blinds, the hand descibed lost the most.
TT (47) Flopped set of 10's lost to a str8. VP is 100
87s (31) okay. Worst play ever. Chased a gut shot that missed everything and called a bet on the end in a 4 way river with 8 high. I think I have a problem here. VP is 85.
94o(30.75) wtf? Oh, I had it in BB and flopped TP, beat by rivered str8. Of course I called his raise on the end to. VP is 3
AJo(30.50) Um my VP is 92 with this hand and it held only 36% of the time. AJo in not a very good hand.
55 (25) Lost set over set. VP 88
77 (23) Too many flops, not enough sets with this one. VP is 90.
T9s (21.50) VP is 89
65s (18.50) vp is 66
76o (18.50) vp is 25
83o (17.50) In BB, saw free flop that hit 2 pair, lost to Lewis Wilbanks str8. He didn't raise on the end. Vp is 4
Step Three: Identify major sources of leaks.
Um, okay, my love of pocket pairs and connectors is a bit much. I have had trouble laying down TP on the end.
My VP for 2/4 is 15 and pre flop raise is 5.85. That is a signal that I am too tight/not in the cards much and too passive. Hmmm. tight passive. Thats a leak.
1. Quit limping so damn much. I thought I had this one beat. Raise or fold. RAISE OR FOLD!!!
2. Play position better. Suited connectors in position with odds or as a steal. No limps with 76s in mp.
3. Better Hand selection. AJo does not play well UTG for a re-re raised pot.
4. Lay down losers. Get away from TP on the river once in a while. Coordinated boards are set killers.
5. Check raise more. I have been finding myself check calling the flop with monsters and leading out on the turn only to see it fold around. Duh. Check/call. and then check raise once in a while.
6. When its close, fold before the flop.
7. Fish jam with AA, quit chasing with TP Q's.
8. Play Great Poker.
9. Fewer sessions with more concentration. No more laptop with the TV on.
10. Play more 50/1, I crush that game, where as my stats are telling me 2/4 makes me see monsters under the bed. Or just start crushing the 2/4 again.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
He responded with this photo of himself in China, which is pretty funny. So I wrote a story that goes with the photo.
The following was taken directly from Tom's travel diary......
Upon my arrival in the Shawano province I knew something was different. I felt a surge of blood and adrenaline that I hadn’t felt since thatfaithful trip to Westport following the Ram’s Superbowl victory. Therewas something in the air, something that both captivated and scared me.
I met up with Tsing Tao, my driver and manservant for the duration of mystay. Tsing suggested that I take in some local tourist attractions toshake off the jet lag and to get a feel for the province and my potentialbattle grounds. I agreed. Jet lag was my co-pilot, as I had beentravelling eastward for several days now having covered 7000 miles thusfar.
The first site that Tsing took me too would also be the last. As wearrived I noticed the large temple with a portrait of Mao looming 20 x 25feet on the upper reaches. Tsing started to explain Maoism in his brokenengrish. His insulting assumption that I was ignorant of Maoism was thefinal straw. Tsing would have to go.
As I wondered in front of and around the temple a sense of righteousindignation filled my very soul. I was drunk on the wonder lust ofdictators past. The power they wield, the thought of their iron fistedways. With a glint in his eye, Tsing commented on the “large bulge” inmy chinos. I think I had mistakenly took Cialis instead of my usualPrilosec. Ever since that damn Viagra accident I see everything with a purple tinge.
I gave Tsing a come-hither look and slinked off behind the guard shack. Tsing, obviously wise in the ways of sexual tourism followed anappropriate 45 seconds behind. As he embraced me, the hilt of my Bowieknife stopped against his ribs, the blade penetrating his lungs. I hadlong ago learned that a man with no lungs could scream no alarms.
I was able to dispose of the body in an unattended refuse truck. Myhands stained with blood I walked purposely, but still casually to themen’s room inside the temple. I washed my hands and changed my shirt. Idecided to pop a squat too. That would end up being the squat that woulddictate the terms of the rest of my life.
Since this was an ancient temple the facilities consisted of little morethan three holes in the floor, no dividers or stalls, no door to hang myjacket. Luckily the airline chicken was in as big of hurry as me. As Ilooked fruitlessly for a wetnap, a hand reached out to me as if it weremanna from heaven. In this hand was a wet nap. I looked up to see oneof the resident monks, donning a smile (some might say shit-eating-grin). I took the wet nap and started to open it, but was struck by the beautyof the three hand painted characters on the package. I looked at the napand back at the monk, but he was gone.
What did these characters say? I carefully opened the package, notdamaging the characters and wiped my manhole. I put the package in mypocket and set out on a quest. I had to know the meaning of these threecharacters. I spent the next 60 minutes looking for an answer, andfinally I found it, in the gift shop.
I was thirsty and wanted some water. I stumbled into the gift shop andimmediately noticed that next to the cash register was a stack of thesame wet naps. I forced my self to the front of the line and inquired ofthe cashier…”What do these characters say?”
The cashier scoffed at me for my rude behaviour. She was certain that Iwas an American bore. She also realized that her day, her life even,would be over at the first refusal of my request. She pulled me aroundthe counter and through a curtain and into the employee break room. Isat at the table and she assumed a position opposite. I pulled the emptywet nap package, still stained with airline chicken, from my pocket. Shegrasped my hand and closed it around the wipe vessel.
“I know what it says” she said. “But you must promise to follow itsmessage without question if I reveal its secrets to you.”I nodded timidly. She then unveiled my future to me. For upon that wetnap were the 3 tenets of a dictator.
First, establish and official ideology and rallying point for yourfollowers. Then proceed to rig the draft in your favour.
Second, develop a system of terroristic police control, supporting butalso supervising the league for its leader, and directed not only againstdemonstrable "enemies" of the regime, but against arbitrarily selectedclasses of the population; the terror of the secret police systematically exploiting modern technology, and more especially modern psychology.
Third, maintain complete monopoly of control, in the hands of the partyand its subservient cadres, of all means of communication, such as press,radio, motion pictures and message boards.
It was if a fog had cleared. My purpose in life could be realized. Iwill not die a loser. Finally, I will win my fantasy football league.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Everything I've thought and tried and been applying to my low limit holdem game on party has already been discussed, scrutinized and rehashed back in his first few days. I especially liked this quote, not for the poker content, but the irony:
"This post is already too long so I'll wrap it up."
-Iggy, Master and Defender of the Uberpost, October 6th, 2003
This one hit home too, but in a poker context:
"So I have a protuberant piece of paper hanging above my monitor that provides three little rules for online poker play.
1) Other players bad play will make me far more money than my fancy or brilliant plays.
2) The guy that leads with a bet on the turn after not betting out previously, has a big hand.
3) Folding costs me nothing pre-flop. If it's a close decision, I can't go far wrong by folding."
-Iggy, October 6th, 2003
I am invading South Cakalacky in January. I will be in Charleston from January 3-5. No poker, but I bet I'll get my drunk on since this is a sales meeting. I challenge the G-Vegas crew to stay in G-Vegas and not bother me on this trip.
I noticed that Otis did not pre-register for the Little Willie Invitational. Little Willie goes to BradOween, its the least Otis could do to show at his own brother's named invitational. Yeah, I know its on a Thursday is the flyover wasteland, but still. The (STL) Blogger gliterrati will be there in full force. Well Me, BMac, Dimebag and TooloftheMan will be there anyway. Captain
I am taking Friday off from work so I can recover/filet the boats. I heard that ToM made a killing there on Friday last, but I have yet to see a trip report.
MTT's and how not to play. Don't play an MTT when you know that you have to leave the house 1 hour after its starts. (See my performance in Saturday's with Pauly). Don't play an MTT when you are home alone with a freshly napped 10 month old. (See my performance in the WPBT Shootout.) I suck at these anyway, but I really suck when I have distractions.
Speaking of leaving the house on Saturday. The wife and I are contemplating moving and are looking at available houses. I think I might just stick it out until the bubble bursts. And I quote:
I don't see the correlation, do you? How about I get to add to my bankroll as much as the diffence between the cost of our haircuts? You see I cut my own and she gets her's "done". Yeah, as soon as I push this noodle across the street. LSS I am up over 500% since July and I am lifetime ahead, including the debacle last June is Vegas. So why should I quit/cut back?
"You know if we buy a new house you'll have to cut back on your
-The Wife, November 12, 2005.
To fry or not to fry? You see I am a long time turkey fryer. This year I have to decide if I willfry up a bird or not for Turkey Day. By bird I mean five. This will take roughly 7 hours total prep/cook time. Five turkeys in 7 hours, including prep and clean up? But I'll have to leave work early on the 23rd, blah blah, blah. I'm just not that into it. Mostly because I do it all by myself, no matter what time I start I never finish until after dark, I can't get drunk and do it because thats stupid (five gallons of 400 degree oil and 10 Bud's = loss of flesh.) But it is one of my favorite foods and is on my diet too. Side note, when frying turkey get some ice cubes when you're all done. Stand about 30 foot away and try to toss the cubes into the 400 degree oil. Its like tossing pure sodium into a bucket of water. Explosions are fun.
Swimming lessons started this past Saturday. So it begins. 25 years of chauffering kids to activities. Get child dressed in swim diaper and trunks, 10 minutes; Drive to Y, 10 minutes; Swimming lesson, 30 minutes; get showered and changed after lesson 20 minutes; drive home from Y 10 minutes. I think kids should be able to drive around age 10 don't you?
Friday the wife and I were fortunate enough to be invited to a soiree at teh Ritz-Carlton STL. The only catch was I had to dress in a suit. Free booze, check, filet, check, Seabass, check, free booze, check. Valet parking a "green dodge" amongst the rides at the Ritz was a humbling experience. But, I never put to much into owning a fancy auto. Its -ev. I mean my house will hopefully appreciate, its an investment. A car is a hole for money.
I finished Freakonomics. It was a good read until the last chapter. I think the editor ran out of red ink, or they needed to stretch to hit a word count. The last chapter said the same think 6 different ways. Other than that I enjoyed it. Having not looked at the actual data I can't comment/argue their findings. I found the discussiong of their methodologies, especially for finding the cheating teachers to be a bit lacking. I'd like to see them publish a second version for actual economists that went deeper into the math. I'd like to see some example data sets and regression equations, only then could you/I be crtitical. Taking everything at face value I'd have to say the Mr. Levit has turned over some interesting rocks and I hope he continues to do so.
Friday, November 11, 2005
I busted Dr. Pauly. It took me two hands to do so. First my JJ (Dyn-o-mite!) cracked his AA. This was after he chatted "I'm going to slow play my Aces". Well he did, right into an oblivion. I made a straight. Then he pushed with some "junk" on my BB when I had KK. Sorry.
That along with a few other hands put me into top five in chips. I stated that "Busting DP has got to be bad karma." I was
I had TT flop a set verses 2 pair for Q9. Ended up busting that individual. Then I had TT hold up again.
Got shifted around tables for a bit and ended up with on_thg to my right and Wil to my left. on_thg open raised from the SB and I re-reraised with AT. He pushed all-in and I had to let it go. That took about T1000 including the blind. I knew I should have called or jammed, but I was trying to feel my way out.
Then I'm in the BB with KQ. We are four to a Qxx flop. I am first to act and bet around 1/2 the pot. Wil moves all in over the top of me and it folds around back to me. AQ?, but he open limped, I can't put him on an open limp with AQ. 2 pair? Set? I can't see him open limping with any 2 pair hand here and I can't see him limping with a pocket pair that made a set on this board. By "can't see" I mean I doubt that's the way he played it at this point. More to it if he had a set or 2 pair on that board he wouldn't try to jam me out of the way like that. My likely range for him is TQ, JQ, KQ. I call and he flips QJ. WOOT! I bust him down to about T850.
One, two or three orbits later I catch AQ in ep. maybe even UTG. I raise to 3xBB and Wil pushes his somewhat revitalized stack all in. I sense desperation here. I figure I have him dominated with my Ace or we're racing. Nope he flips AA. I catch a Q on the river, but its not nearly enough.
I go out with JT in the BB. I had to get luck at some point and I figured myself to be a 3/2 dog in that spot, which I think I was, but my caller (Wil of course) flopped and A and I never caught up.
Overall analysis. My MTT play is too much like my ring game play, which was great when I was catching cards, but making moves left me uncomfortable. I did steal the blinds several times when I was in the top 10 in chips. Chilly had some fold equity. But I played made hands hard and missed flops weak. I didn't make many moves, not nearly enough to make a final table. I need more MTT practice.
Anyway had a good time and learned a little bit too.
A note to Wil. I wil be in Vegas and I wil get my revenge. ;>)
After I busted I looked for a blogger table but came up empty. In doing so I was cruising the web/poker sites and ran into a buddy of mine. This buddy asked me for a favor regarding Vegas. Due to the nature of said favor I had to ask the wife about it. Now here is the tricky part. I have to do a guy a favor, that favor may inconvenience the wife, so she will need to know details about said favor and said recipient of said favor. That friend is a blogger. How do I explain this manly hetero internet relationship?
Long story short, she knows about the blog. She just kept her mouth shut about it for a long long time. This is the last post she read. I wonder why she stopped reading? So now instead of working this afternoon I will spend my time combing the archives making sure my online story jives with my offline story. :>P
Blogging Chilly and Normal Chilly are colliding. Next thing you know the wife will be doing keg stands at BradOween.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
That is a strange request. They didn't want the link redirected or anything, just retitled. The purpose of the retitling seems to be for search rankings. Now here is the dillema. I am a huge fan of this blog. I love it. I understand that the owners are trying to make a buck with their terriffic content. I understand that search rankings will help that. I am also a capitalist so I don't care that people offer links and service ads and such, or even sell products using THEIR OWN ORIGINAL WORK to do so. And I don't care if they pay others to blog for them/use material. Not that the site in question is doing any or all of that.
But here is the question. Don't I own my own blogroll? Couldn't I just give the links on the right numbers 1,2,3,4 or random gibberish such as ERUUN, TYJCU, $*NF(K? Should I help a blog/site that I link to in an effort to increase search rankings. (Note, I am not positive this is the reason, just an educated guess by the context of the request.) If I wanted to link to UpforPoker.com and title the link "Three Cheeky Bastards" would that be okay? What if CJ asked me to change the title of the link to "Online Poker Resources"??? Well thats not really funny, unlike Three Cheeky Bastards, and two its apparent that he's trying to increase google ranking. (Note #2 CJ and Up4Poker are and example and not the subject of this post.)
Now if Daddy dropped me a line and asked me to change my link to snailtrax.blogspot.com to Daddys Donkey Adventure Tours, that might be both funny and commercially viable. This blog is a relection of my personality. Helping someone I don't know make money that I don't get a cut of is not part of my personality. If I know you, you are a friend or someone in need then maybe.
I don't know why this request struck me as odd, but it did. I would have found it more appealing if the requestor had asked me to change the link or remove it, I think. But do I own the link that resides here to their site or do they? I think I do. What if I retitled that link to "Poker Shill" ? Is that liable or slander or something?
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Not that I don't want to expand the homegame experience, but these are friendly homegames. Once people that are outside of a certain circle on my Venn diagram of friends it becomes a bit of a spooky proposition. Besides, we only play for bragging rights anyway. Getting drunk and making fun of your friends dumb plays is the majority of the fun anyway.
However, you gave me a reference, so that helps. It was also nice of you to point out a fact that I didn't know. WillWonka lives in STL! I am an idiot. How did I not know that? WW has been added to the STL BlogRoll. Anyone else outthere in the 'Lou, anyone? I did a quick check and Only Me, BMac, Dimebag and TotM are heading out west in December (Dimebag's former roomate is going too). No Capt. Freeman and no WillWonka. Fuh-lee-she-ahh, will be there, as will El Padre de Blogs. Thats the entire STL WPBT crew. Anyone else out there in STL? Anyone?
But this leads me to a bigger question about homegames. How do you expand a homegame without violating Rebuy's Golden Rule of bringing guests to someone elses homegame, and I quote:
For instance, I have been trying to get Capt. Freeman into one of our homegames for a while. But this effort has been hampered by two factors. One, I haven't hosted an event in quite sometime due to the baby always being at home. Second, nobody actually knows him so the invitation would have to come from me. Games fill early, or get put together at the last moment etc. Or, there's an anniversary or some crap.
But who do you feel comfortable inviting to a homegame? I am usually cool with friends, and chaperoned friends of friends. I have been to the St. Chuck donk fest, that is a game of a friend of a friend. Here is the reverse situation, for a whole other post titled "When Donkeys Host Homegames."
Would you invite someone who emailed you unsolicited? Would you invite a fellow blogger that you never met? What if that blogger was a nice guy but you hated his blog? What if he was a douchebag and you loved his blog? Of course you hope for the dream scenario where you like his blog and he's as cool as me. Chilly=way cool, btw.
So the question is, outside of your normal group, who would or wouldn't you invite or welcome to your homegame?
Monday, November 07, 2005
Yes this is a hand history post. No its not exactly navel gazing a brilliant play or a bad beat. Read it and I'll make the summary worth your while.
I find myself a juicy game (Thanks Poker Tracker!) and proceed to donk off 3/4 of my buyin. The table is so wired for a take down. For instance... Yes that LAG did cap preflop with 10-2, and yes did fire bullet after bullet with a flopped pair of 2's. Yes I thought my AKo might be good on that raggady board. So here I sit aith just under 6 big bets left. I find 6-6 utg+1. I have already decided that I am going to donk this buyin and rebuy, comeback and take over this donk infested table. Yes I am tilted and yes this is rash. I do what any suckout artist would do with a small/medium pocket pair utg+1. I limp. I end up calling 2 more bets and finally we are 5 to the flop in a 3 bet pot! See I told you this game was juicy.
Flop is J46 with 2 clubs. Bingo, the Antichrist has arrived! I am first to act. I bet out. Raise, call, fold, reraise, I cap, call, call, call. Four players to the turn in a 3 bet preflop and capped flop. Turn is a 10. I bet out and get call, call, call. Damn. I thought I would get raised again. That eliminates my plan to check raise the river. Dammit Dammit. River is a 2, no club. I bet out again, fold (flush chaser), RAISE!, call, and I get to re-raise the rest of my stack in!!! Call, Call.
I turn over my set and I see AA and AJ get mucked. Thats TPTK and AA that I cracked with the Antichrist. I get back to even plus 1.5 big bets in this hand.
The Payoff. (you are a sucker if you really thought I had something profound to say).
First, who can't laydown AA in this pot? With all of that action preflop and flop don't you sniff a set there? In my opinion the betting was screaming JJJ. I was pretty convinced that I was getting my money in with the 3rd set which was a 2nd best hand. But the action on the turn was a boost. I was tilting.
TPTK? Comeon. I realize there is no good str8 out there and the flush fell through, but there is a J and a T on board. Two pair isn't hard to fathom. A bit harder to imagin than a set. AA, KK and QQ would also jam this pot. You are so beat.
Chased a flush to the river? Turns out it wasn't even the nut flush as the AA had the A clubs. I guess thems the implied odds?
And finally, me with 66. HE fuckin HAW. I limped and called two more bets. I just got lucky. I knew I was way behind here. I was on tilt. I was getting 6.5 to 1 on my money (the blinds folded). So preflop play was a mistake. I should have check raised the turn? Maybe. but it doesn't really matter since I got it all in anyway.
In summary. Winning a pot playing like a donkey is infinitly more satisfying than winning playing it right. Why was I a donkey. Comeon. There is no way to make a move at this pot. One of the other 4 guys is going to take you to showdown. If I miss I have no fold equity. I could check raise every street and get called all the way down. I know this is not the normal donkey 9-3 off, but it is for me. Open limp with a pocket pair is crap play in my book.
Playing like a donkey is a fun and usually expensive habit. But it feels oh so good when you get paid off. SOOO Good.
only he's not there. TenMile, where did you go? I know that once before you (or someone did it for you) deleted your blog. Is that all, or did you quit?
Friday, November 04, 2005
The Poker Blogger Dictionary. If you write it I blog the definition.
My contest competition entry that I thought was pretty funny.
A little secret: I don't know if my wife knows that I blog. I sent her a link to this post, but she never said anything about it.
Vegas reports 1, 2, 3 and 4. Fans of G-Vegas can read with glee the portions where G-Rob bleeds my stack and Little Wille busts me with 9-2 o. Those of you rooting against G-Rob read about the Brown Shirt on night 1.
What I did instead of going to BradOween. Cute photos of my boy.
Why you don't want to bet into me if the board reads 344.
My take on winning low limit Holdem. Simple strategy for a simple man.
And the entire month of October. I think it was the best month of posts for this here blog.
Thanks to C.J. Otis and yes, even G-Rob. I am nuts, thanks for making me "The Nuts."
You are all officially invited to "The Little Willie Invitational" I mean come on, who can't be in St. Louis on a Thursday night?
I am officially off the 3-6 for a while . Back to 2-4. My game was suffering do to the dead cards. I wasn't leaking at first but then I found myself chasing. AA, QQ and TT all obviously beat but I showed them down anyway. Ax suited? Raise it, miss flush, pair ace get out kicked, of course. Plus I did some analysis and figured out that a big part of my game is drawing, with odds. These situations come up much less in the 3-6 than the 2-4. I was shocked. I pegged the 3-6 game to be as loose and limpy as the 2-4. Nope. A great deal more moves and getting played back at. I was gun shy on the aggressio due to cold decking and my bank roll suffered. More importantly as I pushed past a certain threshold I was starting to make the money matter again. I was praying for pre-flop raises when I was in the SB so I could just muck it an not look weak. You see I am trying to become a diciplined player and I guess I was diciplined enough to drop back down after seeing my game leak all over the place.
I am going here tonight. Set phaser to drunk.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
It is on. Starting right.......now.
Captain Freeman and myself are in competition. A gay poker blogger version of the biggest loser.
Here it is. My fatarse. 276# DING!
Even my toes are fat too bad I didn't get a G-Vegas/Hollywood style pedicure before I snapped that shot.
So how does one go about losing 25# in 8 weeks? Well the last time I did it.... yeah thats right, last time. I'm no sucker, I've actually done this before. Of course I was 20 years old at the time, but hey that was only 12 years ago. My knees aren't that much worse now, are they?
So anyway the last time I did this I ran twice a day, about 2 miles each time. I worked 37.5 hours a week moving furniture and I worked the late shift at Pizza Hut. In addition I lifted on the football off-season program. It was noted by the training staff that I reported to camp the most physically improved on the team. I also cut out the junk food and tried to miss the in between meal snacks.
The plan this time. Lo carb. I did it a year ago and dropped from 285 to 265 in about 8 weeks. Then the kid was born, yadda yadda. I can't believe I've only given back 11 #. On top of that I have this $1300 clothes rack in the basement, already propped up in front of the TV. I'll also take a cue from this guy. Oh yeah. I am a degenerate gambler.
The Y. Lift weights at least twice per week. Why else do I carry that damn membership card around? Sidenote: I have 2 Bally's Fitness memberships for sale. I own them outright. They are for any club anywhere. I'll sell them cheap. Anyone? Bueller?
Chemicals. I'll take anything, once. I'll leave the potion up to my exclusive advisor, BadBlood. I'll just down whatever he says in whatever quantities he requires. Got any ephedra laying around?
What about after Jan. 1st? Well if I have reach my goal of 251 # I'll feel pretty good about myself. But that damn yo-yo. Well I cross that bridge when I get to it. Likely with a pie in one hand and a steak in the other.
Fat kids love pie and bacon and peanut butter cups and ice cream.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Game structure TBD based upon number of people playing etc. There will be beer and poker played on one, maybe two tables. For those of you who don't know Little Willie, do you really care who he is? Probably not. There is poker involved and that is pretty much all you really need to know. If you do care, Little Willie is good peeps. He is the brother of Otis, if that means anything to you. He will be in town and will need a proper evening of beers and poker.
Let me know if you are going to attend so that me and my minions (read: Chilly) can plan a proper game.
So why is the title of this post "Revenge"? you ask? Well dear reader let me take you back in time to June 2005 at the Excalibur in Las Vegas. Here is an excerpt of my trip report.....
So my dear readers and poker playing breatheren.... The $10 bounty is in effect. If we play a ring game then whoever takes the last of his first buyin gets it. If we play a freezeout, who ever busts him gets it. Like the title says, this is an invitational. If you want your shot at the bounty contact TooloftheMan.
My buy in is almost gone. I have around $20 left. I am UTG and decide to straddle. "Live 4 on the table." I meekly yell. "Little Willie" is in the BB. He goes in blind. We cap it pre flop and I get all my money in. I have JJ and he has 9-2 o. He makes trip 9's and wipes me out. Little Willie is the worst poker player in the world. "Little Willie" doesn't begin to describe the magnitude of his play. To say that he sucked out is an under statement. This guy plays trash. I have a $10 bounty on his head. You bust him out you get $10. I hope you move to St. Louis. I can exact my own personal revenge upon you at every home game.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
volleyball players in the bathroom for a long time
Yes I married a volleball player. No I never wondered if volleyball was related to her bathroom time.
aj qk odds
Don't ask me. I suck at poker.
jason lane wife
If he has one, she is very very ashamed.
Someone trying to avoid sodomy, I'd bet.
#1 resource for all things infant.
"online poker is rigged" blog
Yep, better not forget your tinfoil hat.
pictures of dacryocystorhinostomy
TALKING CHATTING ONLINE
This must be a mistake. I don't use the girlie chat thingy........much.
when is serena williams going to be on er
I have no idea, but I can't wait. I mean a superior actress such as Serena will certainly make ER a show worth watching.